I don’t when these feelings started happening
But when I did
They all hit me at once and overwhelmed with to the point where i thought i was going crazy
All my thoughts suddenly became about you
Maybe these feelings were always there
But i was just too naive and ignorant to acknowledge them
You make me feel great about myself in every way i thought wasn’t possible
My heart feels heavy
With all these emotion flowing through my head and onto paper i don’t really know what being sane is
I feel most at peace when i hear your voice
When you ask me how I am and how concerned you actually sound
When you tell me how much you love my laugh making me just want to laugh more
When you purposely like to frustrate me because it makes you laugh
When you randomly throw in compliments to me causing a smile across my face leaving me speechless
Those are the few moment i feel at peace
And just now even writing about you at 2:30 am i find some sort of calmness
You make my head spin
And my heart beat faster
Never did I imagine you coming into my life and making me feel this way
I’ve loved and I’ve lost and I’ve lived through that
But with you or if i was without you
I would simply go insane
Any sudden change makes me go crazy
I feel alive most talking to you
Never have i felt more comfortable with another soul
You get my perspective in life and help me solve my own situations
I have changed because of you
I am more carefree and careful all at the same time
I do hope i meet someone that shows as much compassion towards me
And if i don’t
I hope its because i haven’t met someone new
Because you’ll still be around
And i swear i have never written more
But i just have so much to say when it comes to you
Its always black and white with you
No grey
No in between
And it makes me feel deranged from everything
And thats okay

I take sleeping pills every night
and I don't really remember when this started
but I don't think it's such a bad thing.
I like them because they help me fall right asleep and
I don't have to worry about what awaits for me behind my
drooping eyelids.

Please allow me to bestow upon you a nocturne
  The music of the night...
Just listen to it...
  ...the reverence...

Why must I sit here in grey silence,
  Listening to the hard rain on the window sill?
I dreamt of you.
  Your smile.

Every arpeggiated chord.
  Every melodic line.
Every soft passage.
  I dreamt of you.

I awake and read your words
  And fall deeper into enigma.
Where am I?
  I dreamt of you.

I heard a voice in my right hand.
  Trying to escape, it led into an appoggiatura of trust,
A suspension of sympathy.
  I dreamt of you.

All of these crazed non-harmonic tones
  Clashing high above my flashpoint.
The dissonance carries.
  I dreamt of you.

Am I just so lost in the music I see in you?
  Or am I once again over-analyzing?
It's you! It's you!
  I dreamt of you.

Where am I?
  Why am I not near you?
This entrancement is becoming indefinite.
  I dreamt of you.

Please come closer.
  Beyond this shadow of thought,
Lies the key to a locked door.
  I dreamt of you.

Your words pierce my heart like a dagger,
  Making the soft nocturne glow as bright as you.
While I breathe, I hope.
  I hope we meet in our dreams tonight.

You consume and consecrate like a locust
  In the heat of a summer night;
A mirage of your face casts before me in the
  Hellfire of a southern prairie.

The scorched ends of my eyelids struggle
  To see through the sunlight;
I can no longer see you.
  You've packed up and left behind a dust bowl.

A large section of my heart is left empty
  And hollow;
It's a place you've decimated to the very end
  Until I am left with nothing more.

I'm used up.

My heart has been reduced to ashes
  Where your wild fire caught me.

I am withered like the edges of thirsty leaves
  And blackened;
  My soul is cauterized with the flame
Of remorse and grief.

I'm an oil derrick shifting restlessly
  Up and down hoping to salvage
What is left our love in a drying well;
  A lonely machine working around the clock.

I'm just a faded polaroid blanketed by dust...
  Emaciated and hopeless.

I wish you could feel how heartbroken
  You've made me!

Hangman's noose snaps under the weight of
  Whisky and bygone memories.

You've consumed me like a locust.

The summer sun is warm
and fragrant on my skin
and I'm the happiest I've ever been
right before the first time
you leave me.

The second time,
the cold is sharp and ruthless
and tastes like emptiness
and I saw it coming
days, maybe weeks in advance.

Neither time is better than the other,
but then again,
neither one is worse,
like comparing death by fire
to death by falling from a height;
death is death
and the time to dwell on it
is the true meaning of hell.

There won't be a third time.

I say this every time
our song comes on the radio
or
I see your favorite flower
or
someone happens to wear
your fragrance of choice.

What are the odds, d'you think?
If I tattoo it on my wrist
THERE WON'T BE A THIRD TIME
and I write it on every flat surface I own
THERE
WILL
NOT
BE
A
THIRD
TIME
which is more likely:
you kiss me and I push you away
or
a piano falls on my head?

I'm hoping for a piano, honestly.

At least then I can imagine
the last time you leave me
is at my wake
and this time
this time
you cry.

i am so glad that he doesn't understand, for i'd give anything to not want to die all of the time.