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My eyes see nothing but crosshairs
My right hand does nothing but clicks
In this cyberspace with no cares
Finally, happiness sticks

My ears hear nothing but bullets
My left hand does nothing but W,A,S,D
An experience that's as good as it gets
For at least a few hours, I'm free

My feelings are nothing but joy
My thoughts are nothing but video games
A place I can dominate a boy
Without having to say any names
Written 18 days ago.
Slipping between
Boredom and obsession
Love and clinginess
But I have a confession--
Without you I'm bored
Right out of my mind
You are my muse
And that's hard to find
Yes, I adore you
Always wanting to hang out
Just to be in your presence
That's what I'm all about
Don't be afraid
For I'm sure you have seen
This, I confess
Is what I'm slipping between
Not who you (might) think this is about.
Raymond F Bell Feb 2016
the feel of your warm hands
exploring my very being
like Columbus with a plan

the knowledge that you care enough
to ask me about my day
and will register the answer

I don't think I need much
but I need it often
because your comfort is my life force

tell me it's gonna be okay
even though we both know it's a lie
but it gets me to my next night

when you're here
my thoughts are clear
and again I have 20-20 sight

we don't have to be an item
we don't have to be lovers
and no one wants a divorce

I just need you around
to turn my frown upside down
an explosion of emotion like a dancer

can you just stay the night
so that everything will be alright
we both want a devoted fan

but at the end of the day,
i just want to be held
Trying a new style. Tell me what you think.
Would love to hear some feedback. Thanks
I wish there was a manual
Telling me what to say
A speech to give to someone
To not push them away

I wish someone wanted me
The way I wanted them
Someone to fall in love with
My loneliness to stem

"You'll find someone" they tell me
But I don't want to wait
I want to find someone now
But no, I'll have to stay

The search is never over
I'll look for all my days
Who knows if I will find someone
To be my hope and stay?

It's easy for everyone
Else, they've all found they're love
A perfect match for perfect ones
A match made up above

They don't get to say that
I'll "find someone someday"
It's easy to look out on me
And with confidence say:

"You'll find your special someone
He's out there somewhere, dear"
I don't want him to be "out there"

I want him to be here.
I have never in my life been in a romantic relationship. I have only had one guy ever ask me out, and I've been told I was "not bad  looking" by someone else. Is there something wrong with me?
Raymond F Bell May 2015
If a prisoner was given money
to customize her cell to her liking,
would that prisoner ever want to leave?
I'm sure the answer would be striking
For when people get comfortable in a place
change is the furthest from their mind
But when their number is close to being called
only deliverance do they want to find
Why wait to find the way out,
the plan to escape these golden bars?
Don't get comfortable! This is not vacation!
and No, we cannot escape to Mars.
We must call the One who can pay our bail.
To One, how can we repay?
By changing our life and working for our bailer
And thanking for the gift of a new day
Our souls were bought with God's blood
So no other should we commit.
Seek the Lord and follow His laws
It's the least we could do, you must admit.
Raymond F Bell Mar 2015
Physically I’m here
But mentally I’m away
I’m out on vacation
With my Lord today

Praising Him for my blessings
Thinking about His forgiving soul
Doing good things in His name
And learning of my God-given role

It’s an all-expense-paid trip
But am I worth the expense?
I am but a mere sinner
That asks for my hands to be rinsed

My faith gives Him the credit
My baptism makes me His son
And if I stay on the right path
I will arrive at His mansion when life is done

So now you know where I am
You should come; it’s not hard to find
Or leave me a message and I’ll get back to you
If I return to my worldly mind
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