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.
So fresh his face,
Nutmeg and ginger
Like mine.  I made
Apologies for being,
Being late.

He was more than
Kind, so mannered
Like minded, unwild,
Not unpredictable,
Like my ex.

In the cafe, earthy
Smells wafted at me,
Hints of loss, of sad
Things unsaid, wet
Piney black hair.

Black hair and blue
Unfathomable eyes,
Eyes of a lad I miss,
A wildness uncaged,
Once caging me.
.
All the sea is lighted
And the sky above flashes,
Rains down on me, innocently,
Cupped as my new prayer hands
Are cupped like flowers, drunken,
The water falls from places higher
High as heavens only dreamt of,
I will stay here, low stationed -
For you my love, something,
Precious, yet to come.
.
Cloud covers the sky,
Flashes shimmer through,
Golden rims surrounding blue.

Your breath was lighted language

I could hardly breathe, nil airs,
The earth was smothered on highs,
My only breaths broke out into sighs.

Our breaths enjoined us once unto sun

For you, my deathly lad took all,
I look into wee, empty, cold heavens,
See shout out names of babes forsaken.

*In heaven is a moon taking breaths away
.
Smile at the world,
See what doesn't happen,
The moon is so sharp
And indifferent in the sky,
The lovers sink as they try
Never knowing each fall
Of smile as they eye.

Smile in the overgrowths,
The wastelands of the mind,
Touch the ghosts at meetings,
They will shock you raw,
White as the moon rages
And the sun, cold burning
Each day as it brands you.

Let go, let your face rest,
There are no smiles real
As you dream them to be,
Let your life be limp as death,
See the waters as they climb,
Up from the muddy tomb,
So few can feel rising.
.
I saw you with her,
One day in the sun,
I was only shadow,
Blankness overrun.

Rains fell as I flew,
In greyest courtyards,
Hard as stone set low,
I was but a lone shard.

You looked so happy,
So tame with her light,
I felt a shudder growing,
Held back with all might.

There you were together,
My past one dead page,
You two so happy there,
And my life all the rage.
.
Was I not real, tenderly with you?
All my love wrapped in new flower
As you held me, so were you held
And the spring was a bloom dower.

Did we not paint some finer picture,
You and I amid sweet dawning sun,
I make no stories up, nor any later
We were one perfect plateau above.

You my lad, I dreamed feverish true,
Real as dearest, deathly delusions,
Sweet as any meadow which sings
You my lad, I made up a true vision.
i.

my nettles sting,
my mind dreams
of ghosts,
nothing seems
to settle
under that hovering
sky of wire.

ii.

lost to a broken civilization
in a sky of sighs
caves filled with
ice.

iii.

further than the sky,
further than the sea.

iv.

dreams like drowning
pools

the waving wind
the castles of the mind.


v.

shadows
unwinding
the slow pulse of
the earth,
like the battling
waves,
like the far, far
dream of a star.
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