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i shot off rockets into the sky months ago
that burst into words to  remind me to
keep going     keep breathing     keep
holding my heart   higher than the
river of   y o u r   hands that was
flooding down  m y  street and
threatening   to   break  down
my  door.  i  put all  my  best
pieces in aboxandsentthem
to myself    (cc: my closest
friends)   and i am ready
to get them back, to put
my    h e a r t   on   my
sleeve where i have
always  kept it,  to
have you   f e e l
from across this
town that you did
not break me, did not
damage   me,  did   n o t
destroy my gumption or my
eagerness to take on the world,
did not make me into something
i am not.   i am a    worrier but    a
w        a        r         r        i         o         r
and  i  will  not  stop  going  until  my
head is quiet and my hands are still.
and  this  thing you  did  to me- this
supposedly life altering thing- will
just be a soft  reminder  of  only
the  climb i  made  to get  me
back    to    where    i    am.
i've started to put myself
back together with the pieces
i have left sitting around in my
apartment and while some of the
original sections are missing it seems
they've been replaced with something
like sugar, something like sunshine,
something like me with a slightly
warmer tint
i love that your
hands have touched so
many things- rivers and
valleys and canyons -that
you have made sure the
earth is not your stranger.
please pretend i am the
streets of madrid or the
stone walls of paris.
please know my skin
the way you know how
our planet sighs during
all her seasons. please
love my rivers, my
valleys, my canyons.
i
keep
thinking
you   should
be    taking    up
spaceinmyapartment,
claiming a side of the bed
and the couch, getting    up   in
the middle of the night for a glass
of water. becauseyoumake sense here
in the  soft  afternoon  light  of my living
room, in my  hands, in  my  heart. it's like i
had   been  running  for   so  long  that  i  had
forgotten how to   stop   my legs until you came
along, until you reminded me of what it was like
to           pull               air               through           the
e  n  t  i  r  e  t  y          o  f          m  y        l  u  n  g  s
and not just into the first  two  inches, until you
told me that you think i can be doing so much
more- that i deserve  a  life  bigger  than the
city limits of this missouri town. you are
endless possibilities and unfathomable
potential,   the  slow  simmer    to my
constant  movement.  please don't
stop loving my weak arms and
the heart i have    patched to
my   sleeve.  please    don't
forgettocomebacktome.
you might have to turn your phone for this
 Dec 2014 rained-on parade
Sombro
Why do we mix again and again
A poison bitter strong
The killer tools of government
Consciously created to be wrong

Robotic minds make music
And we will dance along
Not thinking of the people
Who lived the beat the gong

And now we are alighting
To the torch of fabrication
For walls began their freedom fall
Language soon our only nation
I have violent thoughts

I hate and hold grudges on you all
For not acknowledging me

And talking to me

Like my talk is cheap

But I can't let you all take control of me

I can only push myself to the brink

I can only break myself under pressure

You are just my psychological limitation

You are my negative motivation

But not why I positively persevere

I will not let you occupy a vacancy in my mind without paying an outrageous lease

I don't want to snap

Because control is the only thing i have this far

And if I do

I will give whoever is there everything

Every sarcastic remark thrown at me

Every unfair criticism

Every smug remark

Everything I didn't want to hear

And everything they didn't deserve

Beat me ****** with sticks and stones

Break every bone

Leave me conscious enough to tell me it's my fault

Then slander what I have left as a human being

What's a word without power

What's an idea without a motive

Watch the steps you tread

The steep path can lead you to what he or she said

While the truth discriminates

And the reality that we all search for doesn't exist

Freedom and unity can't be forced onto the same plane

Those with the power to send their malicious intent

You sully my docile side

So when tears form my rage and release my wrath on a stubborn mule of a man

By nature

I didn't really want to do it

Silently sobbing in the corner shackle as I have given the confession to the act I committed

Emotional distraught

Being taught

To never point the finger

Logically perplexed

Watching

These acts being committed

It angers me

So blame me
© copyright Matthew Marvier Donald
~
~
play with my hair
not my heart
 Dec 2014 rained-on parade
bones
Do you remember
that midwinter night
the one with ice
in the air
the one that
we burned
until it
turned white
that nobody
else could
stand near
do you remember
the dance of
the slender
flames as they
tortured the cold
when they
were done
you glowed
like the sun's
tongue had been
licking
your soul.
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