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Quinn Evans Mar 2018
Depression is an abyss.
Deep, dark, and filled with pain.
I knew I was never sane.
Will I ever be the same?
No. Not the same as everyone else is.
But the kind of same I was before.

Before all the **** I endured.

Depression.

It is like I am dying internally.
No one can physically see.

No one can really help.

The cutting, the stabbing, the burning, and the starving.
My heart still technically beats.
But it is not a nice rhythm anymore.
Thumping loud and hard and all over the place.
Depression.

Drowning in shadows.

Suffocating anxiety.

Is there any calm?
No. It all has gone.
Gone where?
The deep dark abyss.
The deep dark abyss of depression.
Mar 2018 · 222
Drowning
Quinn Evans Mar 2018
Drowning deep in thought,
Drowning deep in Hell,
Not wanting to breathe,
Death calls to me,
I bleed.
I openly embrace Death,
I breathe my final breath,
I say good-bye,
No one cries,
I'm drowning.
Mar 2018 · 246
Black and Blue
Quinn Evans Mar 2018
They beat me black and blue,
I never got through.
I fake a smile.
It lasts awhile.
I thought I was strong,
But instead I was wrong.
Guilt.
I am wilted by guilt.
Dying.
I wish I would die.
Hope.
I am hopeless.
Pain.
I always feel pain.
Black and Blue.
The shades of my bruises.
Loss.
I always lose.
Dead.
I AM DEAD
Another poem of mine
Mar 2018 · 219
Starry Sky
Quinn Evans Mar 2018
Starry sky that is so bright,
Give me one wish and I'll wish it tonight.
My wish might be,
to see you once more.
Tonight in my life,
Always more.
When I was 4 or 5, my momma committed suicide. I wrote this poem when I was 11. I miss her. So, this is dedicated to my mom.
04-19-1961 to 02-02-2007
Mar 2018 · 664
Have You Ever Felt Like Me?
Quinn Evans Mar 2018
Have you ever felt like me,
When the path it seems is to hard to see?
I feel too vile,
I need to smile,
I need to scrub my body clean.
Have you ever felt like me?

Have you ever felt like me?
Carving words into your skin,
Just wishing you could fit in?
Have you ever felt like me,
Where the pain you feel is never enough?
When people tell you 'Just be tough!'?
This life of mine is not a breeze.
Have you ever felt like me?

Have you ever stared at the road,
Outside in the cold,
Wondering when you’ll get your next meal,
Thinking is this real?
Have you ever felt like me?

Have you ever felt that there’s a creep,
Making you lose so much sleep?
You can’t stand on your own two feet?
Have you ever felt hated?
Did you think life was so overrated?
Have you ever felt like me?

Have you ever felt like me?
Have ever wished for your own death,
Asking God to take your last breath?
Have you ever felt so much pain,
That it feels like an endless rain?
Have you ever felt like me?

Have you ever swallowed pills,
Have you ever wanted to be killed?
Have you ever felt invisible?
Like you weren't noticeable?
Did you ever feel like a disease?
Have you ever felt like me?

Have you ever asked for a saving grace?
Did you feel saved?
The pain I had was a blessing,
It never left me second guessing.
I will inspire,
And I will feel admired.
And now I finally see.
Have you ever felt like me?
This poem is about me being abused, neglected, depressed, about hating myself. I was in a dark place. IThe dark place still exists. Sometimes right on the surface.

— The End —