i love the way you hold my hand so tight
like if you let go, i'll be gone forever
and the way i can't tell if it's your palm sweating or mine
i love that i don't mind

i love the way your voice sounds after you kiss me
breathy and soft, and nervous
almost shaky
you remind me what it's like to be fifteen again

i love how delicately you touch me
like i'm something precious, something treasured
something breakable
because i am

i love how you say "i'm yours" instead of "you're mine"
because you understand that love and possession aren't the same
and i have every part of you as you have, me
forever and ever, "and ever and ever and ever"

i love the way your hands shake when they touch my cheek
the way your fingers tremble as they hover above my skin
how you hesitate before every move you make
like you're scared to mess up, like i'm something you can't risk losing

the only thing i don't love
is that i can't manage to spit out the only words
that occupy my mind when i'm with you
"i love you"

we talked all about how
"all good things must come to an end"
but we never spoke of the bad things
sitting like stagnant waters
in the pits of our stomachs
for we feared the words
swishing around inside us
were too sharp
to pass over
our soft
tongues

too many mornings i laid in your bed,
pretending to sleep, with your sheets
pulled up over my head
because i was afraid of what
you'd think if you saw my
naked face

and too many afternoons
i held my arms crossed
over my rib cage
hoping no one would see
how stupid i could be,
thinking if i drained the blood
from my veins or spilled
my guts into the sink,
maybe i'd start to shrink

and too many nights i cried
in the bathroom with all of my
clothes on, in front of the shower,
because i was afraid to feel my thighs
touch under the water

i spent too many hours
forcing my collar bones
out of my chest,
never stopping to notice
my life as it fell
away from me
with the rest