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i want to dye
my hair and tattoo my skin
so that the changes
you’ve been noticing in me
look like they’re
on purpose.
 Aug 2014 quinn collins
I'm beginning to annoy myself:

texting the ex-boyfriend with daily
problems knowing full well his girlfriend
probably wouldn't appreciate that and
wishing Paul would fall off his high horse
as opposed to getting off it, I still shave with
hopes of someone feeling my legs but let's
be completely honest with each other; I
don't even let my own father kiss my
forehead, let alone say a word to me
I hide behind the pantry door whispering
go away

let's be completely honest with each other:

I'm not sure what's happening to me.
(c) Brooke Otto 2014

 Aug 2014 quinn collins
i so often find myself
looking for a home
in men, in work, in
menial activities, in
angry runs where
I lose so much
breath my
lungs feel
like they


but I find solace in books,
page 3, page 10, 56, 145,
230, I don't ever want
to lose myself, i imagine
it's a sign of weakness,
or the inability to deal
with reality but the peace
is so alarming, it makes me
want to cry.
(c) Brooke Otto 2014

how funny.
 Aug 2014 quinn collins
March 27, 2013, 11:54 PM
-My jaw is aching from clenching my teeth
April 20, 2013, 1:03 AM
-He is perfect and i am drunk and he is perfect
June 11, 2013, 3:20 PM
-They tuck me in when I'm too ****** to feel the cold on my skin
July 8, 2013, 7:08 AM
-Don't forget he said "I wake up and I'm aching"
August 13, 2013, 1:07 AM
-**** I swore I'd never feel like this again. I swore I'd **** the butterflies before they landed.
September 16, 2013, 1:34 AM
-I miss home so much. I can't do it
October 18, 2013, 8:32 AM
-It doesn't scare me that I've forgotten how your voice sounds. It scares me that I don't care.
October 30, 2013, 3:32 AM
-What do you do when you're homesick but the home you crave so deeply doesn't exist anymore...?
January 25, 2014, 8:17 AM
-Five years is a long time. I miss you Kristyn.
February 17, 2014, 11:57 PM
-What if I could go back and save them
March 4, 2014, 9:49 PM
-Here you are inside my head again
March 9, 2014, 3:21 AM
-I hope I never forget the way biting my lip and swallowing a growing laughter made my chest ache, kind of like holding back tears
March 16, 2014, 12:50 AM
-I know Erick and I were drunk last night but I remember him saying, "wherever you end up is where you need to be" and I remember thinking that I'd do anything to believe him.
August 5, 2014, 4:04 PM
-I was standing on the ledge this whole time and I didn't even know it.
 Aug 2014 quinn collins
By now you must’ve realised,
that every face wears a mask
but darling,
if you let me, I want to do the honours,
of taking that filth away from you,
Daring, you don’t need a cover up
You’re just perfect the way you are.
Don’t you dare do them that favour
of getting under your akin
they’re just parasite’s ;
Lurking to get within;
They’re the monsters that hide under your bed

But darling I forgot to tell you…
We are the parasites and monsters that the fairytales warned us about.
 May 2014 quinn collins
clumsily, I fall -
whether it be in or
out of love with you.
similar to how
I bring accidental pain
upon myself, simply
from knocking
my knee on something
solid. clumsily,
I trip over my own
footsteps. I know not
my destination, or
what I'll do upon arrival.

clumsily, I allow
myself to create pathetic
fancies. stupidly,
I give you the power
to inflict
bitter pain upon me.
me, the clumsiest girl
you'll ever know,
who'd be
glad for whichever marks
etched upon her skin,
by you.
coffee shop scribbles
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