Hateful tears slice my skin like razors in the bathtub
I’ve been hurt by the bare hands that once bound us together too many times
You were an angel to me and you loved me like a child
But when I come home and your breath smells like cheap whiskey you twist and thrive underneath burning skin belonging to a type of corruption only the Devil could endure

My bruised eyes are proof of your demons
My broken arm is proof of your demons
My always plentiful supply of makeup to cover your loving blue outline is proof of your demons
My battered body is proof of your demons

The pain doesn’t scare me. I accept it as my own.
I understand your need for attention and your need to be left alone.
I just haven’t mastered the ability to sense when you’ve been left alone with your thoughts for too long
Flashbacks of your own childhood-the ******* that your daddy forced upon you
The sound of skin tearing, the scent of blood. Your fathers voice. His silhouette hovering.

You linger in the doorway for too long when I walk in.
I look in your eyes; the **** videos play back to me. I know I shouldn’t touch-I remind you too much of your father.
Threats to leave me, swinging your fists.

Tomorrow you will say how mistaken you were-you thought I was your father you thought I was a monster but you know now that I’m the most intimate version of a mother you should know
Curling up, weeping your apology. Comfort me, hold me, you beg.

I know better than this. I picture my mother “Once and you leave him.” But its been 16 months now and i cannot leave a fallen angel.
I can’t bring myself to walk out because I know you chose me.
Distrusting; you chose me. You saw I had flowers splurging from my veins and all anyone else could see was self abusing thorns.

The blood from your knuckles soak the blood resting upon my face
It tugs and pulls and I bring you in
Your beautiful, tear filled eyes make me feel special
“I’m sorry, I love you, I’m sorry, I love you”
I’m sorry I love you.

A shadow with darkened eyes.
She's fine. She says she is just fine.
Her lips say everything is right.
Even her eyes have learned to lie.
But the sunlight strikes the lenses,
And just once she lets me see, just once,
The hazel wound behind her veil.
She begs for me to understand,
But fights so hard to blind me.
Just for a little while I see
The quiet acceptance of a dying world,
A growing, inexpressed hatred of mankind.
A terror of inadequacy, never being enough.
A silent resignation of just how much less she is.
Resent for the blame, the debt of an unknown people,
A plea to just forget the shame of her own sullied hands.
She's dying for someone to know,
To have no more to hide,
To abandon logic and composure
And forget what is expected, which she cannot fulfill.
Who says that she is now free?
Who can claim she was ever bound?
But reason makes her stop,
And pretend the world's alive.
To hide her weakness deeper
In order to survive.
To illuse the populace to thinking she rose above.
She steps out of the sunlight.
The glimpse is gone,
Her insecurity erased.
Once again, a paradigm of confidence and self-worth.
The mask is on, the shroud let down.
No one could ever doubt her.
No one will see the child with hazel eyes.
If you asked her, she'd deny it.
Just a child with hazel eyes.
Even in confession, she finds a way to hide.

I have left the mirror.

I see all this suffering, this pain and guilt
And I just can't stand to see it all, that's just not how I'm built
I'm built to hold, to comfort and fill
The empty spaces, to stop the pain and the ****
The **** of the everyday, the sufferer, alone
If that's who you are, I got one thing to say: that you're not alone.

I've had it so easy, so smooth in my life
My parents are in love, together, my brother's a student, my sister's a wife
And a mother to healthy, living child
I wasn't pregnant in high school, haven't smoked, drank, or ******
'Cause none of that's worth it, I don't need it, never have.
Not much in my life to hide from, to fear.

But I can FEEL the pain of loved ones and strangers, and whoever is near
When they're near to death of body or spirit
I can sense it, it makes me cold
Makes me want to cry
To steal the closest person in an embrace
When was the last time someone held you, and told you the sun would rise again
Or noticed how STRONG you are
You've made it so far
Don't you ever give up
Don't you ever stop trying
Don't you dare
If not for you, then for me, you can't stop me, I'll care
Care for you, even though I don't know you

Doesn't anyone notice
Doesn't anyone feel
All these PEOPLE around them
How afraid they are,
How tired they are every day
Won't somebody STOP it all?
These people are dying
Dying a little more every god ****** day
Isn't there something you can do?
Isn't there anything I can say
To make you believe
To make you understand how much I love you
How badly I want you to live
How I want you to prove to me that this world is still alive, still trying
PROVE to me what I already know

You are strong
You are loved
You are worth every second.