So maybe I've broken you,
And baby I'm sorry,
But honey I couldn't continue,
With the lies I told myself,
Because it wasn't fair to you,
Or to anybody else.
And maybe I should focus on,
The pain that I was feeling,
Or the things I'm struggling on.
It wasn't easy for me either,
But I couldn't just go on,
With trying to convince myself.
And really, I was in denial.
"You love her, you're crazy.
Just walk the line single-file"
When really, the love I held for you,
Was different, by a mile.
But really it wasn't that either.
At one point what I thought I felt, I did.
I used to really feel,
I fell head over heals for you I swear I did.
But It left,
Like a dead-beat dad leaves their kid.
And I'm sorry for that.
And so maybe I've broken you,
And baby I know I'm sorry.
But truly I'm broken, too,
And I have no right to be.
Because baby I've really broken you,
And it's broken me to know it was me who hurt you.
Written 12-14-14
Because she was just starting to be happy, and I think I ruined that.
Was it the right thing to do? To not lead her on? To break up with her the second I realized how truly we didn't fit? That she deserved better?
I believe so. But that doesn't make it hurt any less. It doesn't make the guilt go away. And right now she's a broken mess, and it's my fault. I may not want that kind of relationship, but I still freaking care.