I did it again.
I thought about ending my life.
I stood there,
Lost deeply in my withering mind.

I wondered,
What would I feel like
The moment before
Meeting death?

Would I be
So relieved to escape?
Smiling like a mad lady
One who's found peace?

Would I be afraid?
Afraid to discover where I'd go?
Heaven or hell;
Do they exist?

How would it be
To close my eyes
And never again open them?
Would I regret leaving?

Would I finally
Know how it feels
To be free without fists
Wrapped around my soul?

Would I be forced
To hear the words said
And feel the angered hearts
Caused by my departure?

I suppose with
all my thoughts of "what if",
I should just keep walking.
Maybe one day I'll find home.