TO: THE BOY WITH STARS IN HIS EYES
FROM: THE GIRL WITH SHAKING HANDS

4:01AM
I WENT TO BED AT NINE, AND I’VE BEEN UP SINCE TWO. I HAD THAT DREAM AGAIN, THE ONE I NEVER TELL YOU ABOUT. YOU’RE LEAVING. YOU’RE NOT EVEN HERE, BUT YOU’RE LEAVING ME AGAIN. YOU’VE REALIZED THAT YOU DON’T LOVE ME (OR THAT YOU NEVER DID) AND YOU’RE WALKING OUT A DOOR THAT I’VE NEVER SEEN BUT HAVE GROWN TO FEAR.
4:03AM
I WISH I WAS BRAVE, LIKE YOU. BUT I’M NOT. I’M VERY SCARED AND VERY SMALL, AND I’D LIKE NOTHING MORE THAN TO BE ABLE TO HOLD YOUR HAND, EVEN IF ONLY FOR A MOMENT.
4:06AM
THERE’S NOT A **** STAR IN THE SKY TONIGHT, AND I FIGURE IT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE ALL IN YOUR EYES. I LIKE TO IMAGINE THAT WHEN THINGS GET TOUGH, AND THE NIGHT JUST SEEMS LIKE IT’S BLEEDING BLACK, THAT THE UNIVERSE IS HIDING IN THE BACKS OF YOUR EYES.
4:07AM
I HOPE YOU’LL SING TO ME ONE DAY. I LIKE THE SOUND OF YOUR VOICE.
4:12AM
I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY. ONE OF US NEEDS TO BE. I LIKE TO THINK YOU’RE SMILING. WHENEVER I THINK OF YOU, THERE’S A SMILE ON YOUR FACE. NO MATTER WHAT YOU’RE DOING. WALKING DOWN THE STREET? SMILING. PLAYING YOUR GUITAR? SMILING. IN THAT DREAM, YOU’RE SMILING TOO. THAT’S THE SCARY PART. YOU’VE GOT A PRETTY SMILE, EVEN WHEN YOU’RE BREAKING MY HEART.
4:13AM
THE LIGHTS IN THIS CITY ARE TOO BRIGHT, YOU KNOW. THAT’S WHY I CAN’T SEE YOU. THAT’S WHY YOU AREN’T HERE. I CAN’T SEE THE STARS IN YOUR EYES BECAUSE THE CITY WON’T LET THAT HAPPEN. YOU’RE TOO FAR AWAY, AND YOU’RE TOO DISTANT FOR ME TO GLANCE UP AT YOU WHEN I’D LIKE TO. I CAN’T HEAR YOU.
4:14AM
LOVE IS A CAGE MATCH. THE LAST ONE STANDING WINS. I JUST THOUGHT OF THAT. I JUST THOUGHT OF YOU. I HOPE YOU’RE ALRIGHT. I LOVE YOU.
4:15AM
I’M TIRED. I’M GOING TO BED. HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD NIGHT. PLEASE DON’T FORGET ME IN YOUR SLEEP.
4:27AM
I CAN’T SLEEP. I CAN’T THINK. I CAN’T ANYTHING. I’M TYPING LIKE A PUPPET RIGHT NOW. I DON’T KNOW WHERE THESE WORDS ARE COMING FROM, BUT ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT I LOVE YOU, AND MY HANDS ARE SHAKING, AND THINGS ARE HARD, BUT I’M HOLDING ON FOR YOU.
4:29AM
I JUST WANT YOU HERE. YOU WOULDN’T HAVE TO TALK OR ANYTHING. I’D JUST WANT YOU TO LAY HERE BESIDE ME. SLEEPING WITH THE STARS. THAT’D BE SOMETHING, WOULDN’T IT? A GIRL CAN DREAM, CAN’T SHE?
4:32AM
SOMETIMES, I START TO THINK ABOUT YOU, AND I START TO CRY. I’M SORRY I’M ****** UP IN ALL THE WRONG WAYS, AND I’M SORRY I’M TOO FAR AWAY TO SHOW YOU HOW MUCH I’VE MISSED YOU.
4:34AM
DO YOU THINK WE’LL EVER REALLY BE IN LOVE? ARE WE ALREADY? HAVE WE EVER BEEN? WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT DIDN’T HAPPEN? IT’S BEEN RAINING A LOT MORE THAN USUAL THIS SUMMER.
4:40AM
*I LOVE YOU. I HOPE YOU LOVE ME TOO. IF NOT, THEN I GUESS I’LL STILL KEEP LOVING YOU.
THAT’S ALL I’M GOOD AT, FOR THE TIME BEING. SITTING UP AT NIGHT, WATCHING THE STARS, CRYING FOR NO REASON, AND WISHING FOR YOU.