The fan is on, the constant hushing sound adding rhythm to the room I can hear the hum of cars passing by outside my window a added sense that I am not alone even though I am here by myself Novembers cooling touch has crept in nipping at my toes, drying my already dry pale skin my favorite time of year when life seems to slow down, putting a glow on the usually bland days here in my bed under the warmth of my flannel blankets all is right with my world but my brain still finds something to bring the anxiety out I thought if I started writing down my thoughts on paper it would lessen the night time stress but then I stress about not writing on the nights I forget the streetlight outside my window flashes a constant shadow on my wall and I find comfort in that something about the added light on my wall is friendly, familiar when my brain finally shuts off I fall into dreams of my past of people I haven't seen in years, all the stories blend into one repeating like a rerun at least I still have dreams even if they're only in my sleep