**** is not a joke.
It is something that happens.
Something that changes the way someone looks at everything.
At everyone in their life.
It makes them afraid to be.
Afraid to live, to breathe, to do anything.
It takes over your life, your views of people, your memories.
It taunts you.
Even when you think you've beaten it,
it does its best to beat you.
It finds you in your sleep.
In your dreams,
it conceals itself in different forms.
And even when it isn't direct,
you know it's there.
It slips itself into everything you do and feel.
It makes *** scary for you,
even when it's with someone you love.
And it makes you feel guilty
for not being able to fully please the person
your heart belongs to
because no matter how hard you try to forget,
every time you get intimate with anyone,
you feel all the pain and fear all over again.
And you wish you could express your love
to your other half
the way you should be able to,
but sometimes you get so sick
you can't even see straight.

It might seem crazy to someone who doesn't understand it.
To those who've luckily never experienced the pain and fear or of being taken advantage of, sexually.
And maybe we are a little crazy from what has happened to us.
But it's not our fault.
It's not a joke.
It's very real.
It happens every day.
To strangers.
To friends, family, and neighbors.
Not everyone is strong enough to admit it,
and that's okay.
It took me many years to even admit it to myself.
But it ******* happens.