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Feb 2019 · 664
insert title here
Arlo Disarray Feb 2019
I fall in love a thousand times a day
Never really knowing what that word even means
But spouting it out to every set of eyes that meets mine
Lying to myself
and always trying too hard
to shine

I've been broken since the start
I wasn't really built quite right
With a head too big for my body
And a heart that bleeds out, inside
Dripping down into my toes
And keeping me awake, at night

I've been told the truth before
About how I'm all washed up
Letting my addictions control my every breath
And never being
quite strong enough

I never wanted to let it get this far
But here I am
not knowing what to do
Or where to go
Or what to think
I don't even know when I should or shouldn't blink
I'm always afraid I'll wake up
only to realize
that I missed one of the few important parts
of my life
Mar 2018 · 1.4k
a sticky jumble
Arlo Disarray Mar 2018
my thoughts have spun
a web inside my brain
gluing everything together into a sticky jumble

i must confess, i don't know how to say the rest
i don't know how to pass this test,
but i do my best to seek the answers out of this mess

i spend every moment counting,
adding up numbers,
thinking,
calculating,
and wondering

too much wraps itself around my mind
and i can't feel the brain
inside my skull, anymore
it has grown numb
and dumb
and useless
Arlo Disarray Mar 2018
the moon and sun
blend into one
and i realize,
that once again,
i've had too much to drink

i just can't seem to get it right
always ******* up one thing
or another

always stuck with too many thoughts to think

but i do my best to forget

i don't want to keep living
if all i feel is regret

and i don't know if i'm good for much more

i'm not here to impress, i'm just here to ignore
Mar 2018 · 2.5k
my life is a terrible joke
Arlo Disarray Mar 2018
it all falls to ash
and spreads across my feet
painting my toes
each in different shades of grey

i lost count of all the minutes i wasted
daydreaming about boys
living some sort of played out fantasy in my head
about love
and a man
and a family

my life is a terrible joke
i don't find it funny,
but there's just no way
any of this can be real

this old heart of mine
is beating more slowly every day
shaving minutes off my hours
and slicing months off of my years

i'm not sure i can even find my face
underneath the tears

i only wish i didn't regret
so much of what i've done
Feb 2018 · 750
it could be anything
Arlo Disarray Feb 2018
The odds of me taking my own life one day, that's a bet I would definitely take. It might not be for a while. It could be years and years down the road, when I'm old and grey. When the skin sags low beneath my bones, and my teeth are not even teeth anymore.

It could be today. It could be tomorrow. It could be next month, next year. It could be any time.

It could happen when I have been weakened to a point of breaking at the slightest touch.

It could be because I need that sense of control, and knowing it's the only thing in my life I actually can take charge of.

It could be that I lose all sense of importance, and realize I have no more purpose here on this spinning ball of dirt.

It could be anything. Any time.

But I'm sure it'll happen, one day.
Jan 2018 · 893
my journey in oz
Arlo Disarray Jan 2018
A brick road laid in front of me,
one slab at a time
I took a step along the path
to see what I could find

A scarecrow cried out for help,
sounded like he was in pain
I asked him what he needed
and he expressed to me,
"a brain."

So I sliced my forehead carefully,
and took mine from my skull
I placed it in his head and said,
"there, now your mind is full."

He thanked me as I wandered on
to find another friend
I met a lion on the bricks
whose life was at its end

He was afraid of everything,
and he was so discouraged
So I reached into my gut
and I gave him all my courage

He smiled and waved
as I left
to give someone else a hand
And I heard the cries of sadness
from a rusted, old tin man

I asked him what he needed and he wailed out,
"a heart!"
So I pulled myself open and tore my ribs and chest apart

Now that I am empty,
I'm dumb, scared, and alone
All that I can think is,
"there is no place like home."
Jan 2018 · 990
Maybe
Arlo Disarray Jan 2018
the first song for my album.

Link in notes.

Maybe I should know that
time is gettin' harder
to bear
But I don't
remember
where I've been

Maybe we were younger
Maybe we were older than
the ones
we thought
we loved
back then

And maybe you remember?
We were rolling down
a grassy hill,
out in
the summer sun

Maybe I forgot it...
Maybe I just stored it away,
to keep
it safe from everyone
To keep it safe from me

Maybe...
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BzZPhtjsCsu-OHM0U19pYVdKMjRhaXFSRnhjM0c4QTk4M2M0/view?usp=drivesdk
Arlo Disarray Dec 2017
This is a Christmas song I just wrote. Link to the recording in the notes.



They say this is a time for family
but I am stuck here, all alone
I used to have a man that loved me
but I sent him off, on his own

And I'm so sad
I guess I must've been so bad
Because I'm so sad
This is the lonliest Christmas I've ever had

I didn't have too much on my list
Just to have someone by my side
But I guess my house must've been missed
It's okay, I know Santa tried

But I'm so sad
I guess I must've been so bad
Because I'm so sad
This is the lonliest Christmas I've ever had

I'm so sad
I guess I must've been so bad
Because I'm so sad
This is the lonliest Christmas I've ever had...
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yN7jNolnE1k&feature=youtu.be
Dec 2017 · 1.5k
closer to death
Arlo Disarray Dec 2017
I have a warm heart
that's been coated in ice
And when it thaws out
it will feel so nice

But in the meantime,
while it's frosty and frozen
I'm regretting the life
and the choices I've chosen

The signs point me one way,
I walk off the path
The numbers are right there
but I can't do the math

I forget what I'm told
and I leave my room trashed
Maybe I'd remember
if I wasn't always smashed

I'm lost and I'm hardened,
blistered and broken
Stuck inside a dream
which I still haven't awoken

Each breath
in my chest
draws me closer to death
But I'm tough
and I just
haven't given up, yet
Dec 2017 · 568
when the nights are longer
Arlo Disarray Dec 2017
I noticed the moon was hanging on a wire,
right before it swung down from the sky
Dangling right before my eyes,
I grabbed it
And ******,
the worthless thing is plastic
And the stars are just the glowing eyes of strangers,
saying that
they're pleased to meet me

Swinging my arms through the night's sky,
I get covered in ink
Black and blue on my skin
from the thoughts that I think
The galaxies are writing stories
on my flesh
and singing songs into my mind
for only my insides to hear
The lyrics are vocalized in a multitude of languages, pitches, and tones
And I feel sick now

I keep hearing your voice in the night when I look to the sky and I stare at the light
The sun has no place here, no meaning at all
She must stay hidden away and only seen when she's wanted
Winter is my favorite time of year because the nights are always longer
Nov 2017 · 854
the moon still smiles
Arlo Disarray Nov 2017
my bedroom floor has become
a graveyard for beer cans
and cigarette butts

still,
the moon smiles at me

i know what he's thinking
and i don't dare say
any of it out loud

i've lost track of the time,
yet again
and i'm frantically spiraling
into the night
and sinking into the ground
beneath me

my sense of self control
is barely even in existence,
anymore

i can't seem to stay away
from bad decisions

it's almost as though
i deliberately seek
them out
just to make sure
my life stays
exactly the same
Nov 2017 · 776
wrong direction
Arlo Disarray Nov 2017
2 a.m. approaches, so of course i'm still drinking
sitting under the stars, getting lost,
simply thinking
and i lose myself in the night, as i'm sinking
goodbyes never come soon enough

notes scribbled out into rhymes
never serving a purpose
other than clearing my mind
taking all the ugly stuff out
and turning it into something else

i've always had a hard time taking advice
i make every wrong choice,
at the very least, twice
and sometimes it's hard to realize
that i'm the one thing that stands in my way

i've been shuffling pennies
inside my pocket
and hearing them jingle
as i take more
and more steps
in the wrong direction
Nov 2017 · 627
falling apart together
Arlo Disarray Nov 2017
Time keeps trying to absorb me,
but I've broken his hands
and hidden away
the ground up bits of his sands

I'll never be whole again
but at least
he and I are falling apart
together
I was tripping serious ***** when I wrote this.
Nov 2017 · 524
as i live, and as i die
Arlo Disarray Nov 2017
a couple states away,
in the snow dusted hills
lies a possible future
that i never thought i'd see

there are several doors
lined up in front of me
and i'm not quite sure
to which one i hold the key

the map that lines my pocket
is crumpled to a point
where i can't read
and the ink has gotten sweaty
as it slowly starts to bleed

i see a light
through a dark, empty space
and i'm too afraid
of truly finding my place
you can read every word
that i think,
on my face
but there's no answer

decision making has always been
something i have trouble with
i either stand in place
or i sink myself into a hole
never really getting anywhere
simply watching
as i, and everyone around me grow old
i'd forget it was winter if it wasn't so cold

time passes around me, twice
twisting trails around my life
letting everything pass me by
as i live, and as i die
Nov 2017 · 923
somewhere, i sit
Arlo Disarray Nov 2017
Now,

the sun isn't even on our side

You can tell by the way
it shamefully hides

And the clouds only serve
to shroud
out our light

The moon falsely projects
recycled rays in the night

And somewhere,
deep inside all of this,
I sit

And I'm just not sure
where I fit
into it
Oct 2017 · 530
where and who i've been
Arlo Disarray Oct 2017
wading through the edge of a dream
i sit and ponder what is in my head
and what is factual reality

there are too many things to count
too many numbers
numerals
constantly rotating along the outside of my brain
as i calculate everything i can see in front of me

time keeps wrapping around me
pasting fragments of my days
to my face
reminding me that time is endless
and no moment in the past
can be replaced

i've been gone a real long time
at least, inside my mind
i don't know if i'm ever coming back
or if i even want to

i'm picking at my scabs
trying to release the pain
and set it free
creating scars to remind myself
of just where and who i've been
Oct 2017 · 547
i've been here too long
Arlo Disarray Oct 2017
surrounded by sky
and speckled in lights
millions of dancing diamonds
flicker into the night

and as each one tells me a secret
i shut out the sound
covering my ears
and pretending
no one is around

fallen leaves cover my feet
i guess i've been here too long
the wind churns through the trees
and i hear my favorite song
Sep 2017 · 733
the only me
Arlo Disarray Sep 2017
my mind paces
a thousand or more circles
a day

and it always comes back
to the same broken thoughts
tying the meat
in my skull
into knots

a dose of medicine
ain't gonna fix it
and if i lost this side of myself
i think i might miss it

it's the only me
i've ever really known
and i don't want her to die

it's not her fault
that her heart is busted
and letting all the
leaky stuff drip out

she was made this way for a reason

and i don't want to say goodbye

there aren't enough minutes in the day
to keep feeling this way

but as time ticks forward,
i move further backward

and i hope one day
i'll catch up with myself
and know where i've been
going this whole time
Sep 2017 · 722
like a shark
Arlo Disarray Sep 2017
i love him from a distance
and watch as the world falls down
around us both

i don't know much about him
other than
how he makes me feel

and maybe it's because i know
it will never be

but my mind swims in circles
like a shark
and the only thing
i want to taste
is him
Sep 2017 · 547
burning
Arlo Disarray Sep 2017
a fire burns hotter
in my heart
than i can handle

and he doesn't even know
he ever struck
the match
Arlo Disarray Sep 2017
I've been trapped inside a memory
and I can't see
what's in front of me

Taking steps backward into my past
thinking it won't last
but I'm gone too fast

and I'm losing track of all my tracks
I'm going back
I'm going back

and I'm losing track of all my tracks
I'm going back

And I don't wanna know tomorrow
And I don't wanna see tomorrow

Taking scoops out of my brain
I'm going inane
From too much pain

Wish I could erase all my mistakes
But it's too late
Oh, it's too late

Don't know how much more I can take
When I'm awake
When I'm awake

Don't know how much more I can take
When I'm awake

And I don't wanna know tomorrow
And I don't wanna see tomorrow

It's too late for me
But please don't cry
It's too late you see
But please don't
It's too late for me
Please don't cry

And I don't wanna know tomorrow
And I don't wanna see tomorrow
https://youtu.be/R3m3DNMMBog
Sep 2017 · 511
blue
Arlo Disarray Sep 2017
Every moment is spent with people
pretending to like me

I don't even like myself,
so how could I expect anyone else to?

There has been no color
in my soul
since the day that my dad
blew his brains out
in front of
the house
I grew up in

Maybe it's time I quit
hanging on by this thread,
and I admit
I'm no stronger than he was

I live every day
as though it were my last,
because one day,
it will be

My heart tries to carry the weight
of so many others,
when there's barely
enough room for myself

I don't really feel like I know anyone

You all claim to love me,
but I spend every night alone,
wondering
if it's even worth it
for me to take in
another breath,
or if I should just
turn blue
I'm ready to die.
Sep 2017 · 362
my life that is fake
Arlo Disarray Sep 2017
i live inside of
stacks of boxes
lining around
the perimeter
of a room

too unsure of how long
i'll be here
not just in this room
but on this planet

it doesn't matter how many
smiles i create
or how many stupid
jokes that i make

i will never feel complete

there is a hole dug so deep inside of me,
i just can't see it

but i know it's there
every time
i see him smile

i know each smile's
for me
but he will never be mine

i try so hard
to live my life
but have i run out of time?

i hate every moment that i waste awake
because at least in my dreams,
in my life that is fake,
i can pretend i'm happy
and that's all
that it takes
What the **** ever.
Sep 2017 · 521
covered by sands
Arlo Disarray Sep 2017
clicking and ticking from my talkative clock
tell me minutes are passing, and they'll just
never stop

i'm surrounded by numbers,
they're invading my space
all these sands dropping down,
as they cover my face

the hourglass fills,
but i'm torn on the truth
has a day gone away?
another page
on my calendar used?

what's the use?
i'm left dying
and trying
too hard
another second
on the clock
one more
bit of sand
by the shard

it's too hard
i can't take it
i'm surrounded by noise
each second
that ticks
demanding
i make a choice

where's my voice?
i think i lost it
somewhere
along the way
time wraps around me
and tells me
that i'll live
another day

but what's living
when you've been dead inside?
from the love that you've lost
and the tears
that you've cried

yes, i died
but my heart still refuses to cease
so my soul still remains
until i am released
it's creeping up on two years since my dad's suicide, and I'm not handling it well...
Sep 2017 · 478
we all get burned alive
Arlo Disarray Sep 2017
star dusted skin
shimmers delicately
under a falsely lit stone

wishes are quietly whispered
into an infinite, black ocean of universes

galaxies quake beneath a dozen suns
and we all get burned alive
eventually
Sep 2017 · 628
i tremble
Arlo Disarray Sep 2017
i want to mount you
and i know on so many levels
that it's wrong

but you make time slow its ticking

every time i catch a glimpse of your smile
and my bones start quivering
beneath my muscles

every time i remove my skin,
i'm terrified

and as i tremble softly
between my knees
i feel a loss of control
and the thoughts get tangled
into so many knots
i don't even know where one end
begins

i gently remove bits
of layers
of my skin

only showing you a little sliver
as i try to hide my grin

i am much too ashamed
and unhappy
to share the parts of me
i am most afraid of
Sep 2017 · 537
primal human instincts
Arlo Disarray Sep 2017
i'm taunted and teased
by lumps of flesh
and primal human instincts

daydreaming about feeling your fingers
caressing more than just
my neck
and lips

shivers work their way down my spine
and filter through the rest of my bones

i see you smile
and it kills me
from how brightly
and intensely
you make my flame burn
Sep 2017 · 1.1k
now i understand the fear
Arlo Disarray Sep 2017
talking to the moon
is like
being with you on a tuesday

getting home late,
but you stayed up
just to make sure
i made it home okay

you knew i could be wild
that i could do some stupid things
that nearly killed me

and now i understand the fear

every time i see
a shooting star
up in the sky
i wish that this was all a dream
and once again,
i'll see your smile

it's been nearly
two years now,
and i guess i'm still in denial

you were my everything, dad

my world is a different place, now
the flowers smell less fragrant
and the trees
appear a paler shade of green

i can never fully word
what i'm trying to say
but you know what i mean

a bullet couldn't have killed you
the forensics must be wrong
there's no way that you killed yourself
you always taught me to be strong

now, i wear a paper shell
to cover all my pain
but it easily disintegrates
every time
it rains

time wraps around me gently
and it swaddles me to tears
as i watch the pain
in front of me
caused by all
my years
it's two years this month since my dad's suicide, and i still can't believe he's gone
Aug 2017 · 498
delusions of your eyes
Arlo Disarray Aug 2017
glittery bits of stardust
fall from a distant,
blackened sky

my skin is freckled with
shattered fragments
of moon slivered off,
for the night

my heart palpitates
as the moon radiates
and i'm drowning in delusions
of your eyes

little rays of day
are stolen from the sun,
and they shine upon that smile
in the sky
Aug 2017 · 388
dust
Arlo Disarray Aug 2017
he was always my rock

so when he crumbled
and turned to dust

I did, too
when my dad killed himself nearly two years ago, I felt like I died a little bit, too. Things will never be the same, and every time I think I'm okay, I get hit with the pain all over again. I miss him more than words can express, and I'll never be able to eloquently enough word the way I feel about losing him.
Arlo Disarray Aug 2017
freshly dusted clouds
surround and shroud
a slice of moon
and freckled stars
across a blackish, purple sky

my back is all scraped up
from little bits
of shingled roof
from where I've lied
upon a slab up near the sky

mangled streaks intrude my eyes
and place themselves over the skies
giving me glimpses of the light,
but I'm still left yearning for the rest
of it
as I gaze into the night
Aug 2017 · 5.8k
depression
Arlo Disarray Aug 2017
Suffering from depression is like:

biting your nails
when they're already too short

picking at your wounds,
and not allowing them to heal

living in your past,
because you're afraid of the future

feeling lonely,
yet being afraid
to burden other people
with your presence

wanting to get things done,
but being too unsure of yourself
to even try

you want to be happy,
but being sad is what you're most familiar with

you're afraid to live,
and afraid to die,
but you never know which option is worse
Aug 2017 · 621
lighting strikes twice
Arlo Disarray Aug 2017
broken seashells
nestle down into
the tender flesh
of my thigh
as I taste him

I feel that salty
and savory flavor
of the sea
pressed against my lips
and I just know that it's real

morning shines its light
and I am again
taken back
into the
weight
of
emptiness

lighting strikes
twice
in the same spot
and I am dead
Photo that accompanies the poem

https://www.instagram.com/p/BX7k7lUh_Hh/
Aug 2017 · 491
i'm a real boy
Arlo Disarray Aug 2017
mismatched socks and doubled up knots
wrap tightly around my
blistered feet

my days are merely dreams,
but I feel the pain
like I'm a real boy

maybe I'm no longer made of wood
and my nose won't grow
when I'm lying
through my teeth

the only strings being pulled these days
are the laces on my sneakers

and I'm in control
of which direction they move in
There's a photo that goes with the poem

https://www.instagram.com/p/BX7Sew6Bs_d/
Aug 2017 · 480
like you keep asking me to
Arlo Disarray Aug 2017
the creaking and grinding
of rusted gears scraping against themselves
wanders through my ears
and into my brain

there are too many of them
constantly lining up
one by one
waiting for a chance to shake me
until my bones are exposed

this can't be right
but I don't want it to be wrong

just let me taste you once
so I can bank it into my memory

then I promise I'll disappear
just like you keep asking me to
Aug 2017 · 609
I gave it all to you
Arlo Disarray Aug 2017
I keep trying to let go
of that little bit of light
that you gave me

there's just some small
and stupid part of my mind
that lies to my heart
and allows me to believe
I still stand a chance

I gave it all to you
I let you see me
I let you see the scary parts
that I usually try to hide from, myself
I showed you that I'm human
and that I care

and all that
you've shown me in return
is pain
Jul 2017 · 685
I'm okay with being wrong
Arlo Disarray Jul 2017
the fluttering has begun inside my gut, again
that irritatingly charming warmth of feeling something other than sadness

little cracks of light show through the gaps in your teeth when you smile
and I see more than just the stars shining, tonight

I know I can't be right,
but I'm okay with being wrong
if it means I get to feel this
Jul 2017 · 448
i am never whole again
Arlo Disarray Jul 2017
it drifts beneath a lightly dusted sky
a mangled lullaby,
tangling its way around my throat
and into my ears

fingertips trace over my trembling lips
and i've never felt so alive

embers singe their way into my flesh,
and i am never whole again

the lies spelled out through fireflies
burn their way into my eyes
and all i can think about is him
Jul 2017 · 523
.
Jul 2017 · 439
rejection
Arlo Disarray Jul 2017
I guess I'd just forgotten what it felt like
That cold slice of rejection slitting my throat
and allowing me to bleed until I'm empty

My heart isn't even there anymore
I don't think it could stand to watch this unfold
I've allowed others to bruise it too often
To squeeze it until it's lifeless and grey

All the signs were pointing in one direction
And like an idiot,
I followed them

I ended up at the top of a mountain
with the most beautiful view
I felt like I could do anything,
but quickly tumbled down,
breaking all of my bones
and spilling my innards onto the pavement

I can't do this anymore
I just want the pain to stop
so I can quit dying
and start living
my life
Jul 2017 · 548
anxiety: take eight
Arlo Disarray Jul 2017
Anxiety chomps and chews on what's left of my existence

And only time will tell
if I'll come out of this alive

I'm afraid of everything
everything that's important
of love
of responsibility
of commitment

I keep biting at my thumbs
and around the edges of my nails
Constantly tapping my toes
and I always hear a song playing in my head
that I've never actually heard before

There are constant bouts of doubt
gently resting in my head
Waiting for an opportune time to jump out and scare the pants off of me

I know what's in my head
isn't what everyone sees
But I'm persistently afraid
of what everyone else will think

I never really sleep,
and when I do,
I barely dream
Just the same worn out thoughts
streaming through my brain
again
and again

It's never enough
but somehow,
it's always too much

And I'm just not sure where one thought ends
and another begins
Jul 2017 · 503
I'm giving up again
Arlo Disarray Jul 2017
I feel a cockroach scurry over my foot,
and I know I'm not at home

The stale scent of this place rots off parts of my face, and I lose my sense of control

The clock strikes ten, and I'm giving up again
My face turns red from thinking I could win

So embarrassed that I blush,
I shush at my heart to hush
And I'm trapped inside these growing thoughts of him
Arlo Disarray Jul 2017
I lick my cracking lips to moisten them,
and I taste him

The sweet and salty flavor of another human wraps itself around my tongue
and he's all I can think about

My smile shows itself when he's around,
and I lose control of my cool

I drop the act,
and let the human side of me appear for him

I smell the ocean when he's near,
because it roars behind his eyes
There are waves of blue and green woven throughout them
and they are irresistibly beautiful

The midnight skies can't compete with the color of his hair
My fingers could easily get lost for hours at a time
running over his ears and around the back of his neck

I've never seen such an innocent smile
Every time he lets it show,
I glow from the inside out

And I just wish I could ask the wizard for some courage

Because I've never
been so afraid
to tell someone how I feel
Jul 2017 · 499
he makes me dream
Arlo Disarray Jul 2017
I fade in
and out
of a simpler time

The smell of wheat
and lemons
fills the air

The bed of a pickup
is my home
as the scenery envelops me
and before I know it,
we're in the next town

I don't know
what it is about him
that makes me dream

It makes me travel
to another world
One where I am worthy of not just love,
but of his time

The soft transition
of melodies
on the radio
play
and all I can do is listen

I'm lost in more than just his eyes,
by now
And I'm falling deeply
and falsely in love
Jul 2017 · 1.1k
I've failed again
Arlo Disarray Jul 2017
The leaves of a nearby tree branch reach down to lightly brush against my skin
I lie down in the fallen foliage fingertips, and let the bits of fallen trees get tangled into my hair

The stars are too dim to compete with the lights in tonight's city sky
What I wouldn't give to have the shimmering lights dance upon my face and under my eyelids

Memories of innocence become reminiscence,
And I can't help myself
I've failed again

The dirt accumulates underneath my nails as I dig my hole deeper
The ground becomes my home
and the night becomes my family
Arlo Disarray Jul 2017
Ever since the warm weather began,
I started getting really bad anxiety about my body
The fear of wearing a bathing suit has always been very real, for me
Even when I barely weighed 100 pounds,
I thought I was fat
I thought my body was disgusting
So now that I've gained a little weight,
I was terrified to put my bathing suit on
But you know what?
I did
And I don't look that bad
Yes, I need to get back in better shape for my health
and for my own sake
But I don't look like the gelatinous blob
I thought I would
As a woman, I've been conditioned to believe since childhood,
that if I don't have a tiny, flat stomach,
I'm not beautiful
That I have to be a size 2,
or guys won't be attracted to me
That if I don't keep my body in perfect shape all the time,
I'm lazy and unhealthy
I'm trying to learn how to love my body
no matter what it looks like
Because looks fade,
and I won't be 26 forever
But I'll always be me,
and I'll always be worth loving
I've always thought the most beautiful women were the ones who could love themselves no matter what. That's what I'm trying to work on. Physical appearances change. We get older. Fatter, thinner, uglier, prettier. It doesn't matter. What matters is what's within, and that's the most important beauty to work on. Instead of spending endless effort at the gym, maybe some of these ladies should go to the gym in their hearts. Haha
Jun 2017 · 520
unexpected arrival
Arlo Disarray Jun 2017
The lights in the night's endless sky have stopped dancing,
leaving time to stand frozen in its place
Fifteen or maybe sixteen shades of blue create your face from what little light can be made out from space

Our smiles are stolen as they gravitate toward the moon's gleaming grin
Eaten by his gluttony and never seen again
They have become something else


This hole in my heart
bleeds your name
through my shirt leaving a beautiful stain,
and I'll probably never wash this shirt again
May 2017 · 980
more than just a dream
Arlo Disarray May 2017
We were sitting on a hilltop,
throwing rocks down
and watching them fall
until we couldn't see them anymore
Then you looked at me
and said something like
"the sun only rises once a day"
right before you kissed me

Our eyes were locked
without a key to break them
Our lips met
and shook hands
and they really got to know
each other

You leaned me back
as you breathed heavily on my neck
I felt your entire body pressed
tightly against mine

I watched my legs fly up
as you grabbed me by my ankles
and I quickly wrapped them around your back,
pulling you closer to me

I felt every inch of you inside me,
and I trembled
I shook, and shivered,
and moaned a moan so loud
we could hear it echo in the canyon below

My hands are still shaking, and my body still tingles
I only wish it had been more than just a dream
May 2017 · 1.0k
tell me yes
Arlo Disarray May 2017
Strip me down
to my bones,
and tell me
that you love me

It can be a lie,
I just need
to hear those words

Rub your calloused fingertips
across my milky skin
until I disintegrate

Turn my
paper mache
body
into a pile of mush

I want to feel your breath
against my neck,
and let it burn me

I'll let you
catch me on fire
again and again

Keep melting
away my skin

I'd never tell you no
if you'd tell me yes
just this once

Arlo Disarray©
Apr 2017 · 520
misplaced memories
Arlo Disarray Apr 2017
it drifts beyond an evening April sky
the rain drops, merely tears inside my eyes

for many years I've wondered where it ends
but the answers are all ageless,
stuck in time

there are bits of broken slivers stripped away
chipped, and ripped, and stolen
nothing ever ends okay
yes, I've been told a time or twice about the window

about temptation shining through,
and trying to rip us from our comfy little couches

ugly floral arrangements and
tacky music on the boombox
ruined my summers

picking weeds to make bouquets, and hoping just to put a smile on your face
but the thought never counted
and you never
seemed
to want me around
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