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Pluto Oct 2017
my mind has been an empty chasm of forgotten words
i was a writer who can no longer write
a storyteller with no stories to tell
an artist with dried up paint and a broken easel
but

i forget that
i am also a person
a broken, timid person
once whole, once sure, once loved,
once
          me.
Pluto Jun 2016
---
sometimes,
I can feel the blood running
through my veins and
it scares me
to be alive.
but weren't we supposed to fear death instead?
Pluto Jun 2016
so i let my guard down
and i did.

"let me make you happy"
but there was pain
and it became all i knew.

"i love you"
but you hit me
and i didn't understand why.

"i won't hurt you"
liar.
liar liar liar.

"you wanted it"
did i really?
i believed you.

"you could have said no"
but i did,
you just never listened.
Pluto Jun 2016
i can no longer distinguish pain from pleasure;
abuse from affection; contusions from caresses.
embraces could be delivered in tightly-clenched fists;
words of affirmation in abasement; trust in forced hands.
i can't tell the difference between love and hurt;
dark bruises and soft kisses; belittlement and support.

all i am familiar with now is the aftermath -
the tears, the marks, the aches;
hot showers soothing stinging skin, shaky knees and trembling hands;
the nauseating guilt; encapsulating, overwhelming fear

and the sickening inability to just walk away.
for every physical, emotional, and ****** abuse survivor out there.

you are so, so strong.
Pluto Mar 2016
?
i'm not sure how-
how to break this cycle
the constant pounding in my head
the incessant whispers
the persistent hurt
the frustrating reiteration
each one more needless

fall after fall after f
                                   a
                                       l
                                          l
it's just annoying.
  Jun 2015 Pluto
Meenu Syriac
I am not a poet
But when thoughts, like rain,
Drench me in my solitude,
Words, they flow like a stream.
I am not a poet
But how can I see
The simpler joys of life,
And not create a song to be sung.
I am not a poet,
Nor an artist.
I am myself,
And you are my masterpiece.
I am not a poet,
If you are not the dream.
If I am a poet,
*Then you are what sets these pages on fire.
©Meenu Syriac
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