I've always liked the unpredictable,
the stranger things,
always had a scent for weirdness
Normal is horrible, mainstream is not for me
I like crazy and crazy likes me

If I'm mental,
the world is my hospital,
my friends are my doctors
Being different for me,
is being myself,
open and free,
in a world that is filled with plastic...

Your strange self captures my wicked heart
You're one of my own,
let's go together into the unknown

As I walked down the same road
I've walked a thousand times
Small town,
I have dreams, never seem to get out
I realized the stupidity of what I was doing
I'm avoiding life because I'm scared of living,
Not being true to myself,
In fear of failing as me
Insignificant people decide my destiny,
Their opinions are valued over my own

This is the road to hell
To selfhatred, regrets and pain
I always wind up ******* things up for myself,
Instead of listening to my gut,
Which I know have all the answers,
I'm just a coward

As I look at the beautiful sunset,
I know the truth is within me,
The power inside me
And the strength with me

I have to change,
Break the pattern,
I've said it from the beginning,
But I never seem to begin
Will I begin now or forever hide in despair?

It's killing me before my time,
I want to live,
But it's like I'm frozen,
Unmovable,
The same place as always,
In hell,
When my soul is made for heaven

Could it be worse?
It actually is,
Because the reason I'm in hell,
Is because I've put myself there,
And it's like the fear screams to me:
"You'll never make it",
"You're not worth it",
"You're stupid"
"You're ugly"
"Why are you even thinking about it?"
It silences me, keeps me stuck
My thoughts are the root of all the evilness
I'm putting myself through

I need to fight through all the sadness
And embrace my madness
The future is in my hands
Will I let it slip through,
or will I grab it by the hands and make it greet me?
It's up to me

Will my fear get the best of me,
Or will my best shine through?

It's painful to breathe,
It hurts to see,
My heart just bleeds,
It's a simple deed,
All I don't need...

It's all I know,
I always feel low,
I guess it show,
That I never glow...

I want to shine bright,
Reflect the light,
Of the stars in the night,
Feel so right...

The music's inside me,
It makes me want to move,
To dance,
To smile,
To live,
To laugh,
To never give up

I sometimes lose it when I'm down
Completely
Maybe even for a long time
But never completely
Because it's within me
It's programmed
It's destined
It's me

The music's inside me,
The biggest part of me,
It's untouchable,
It can never die,
Even when I feel like it,
It brings me back to life,
Makes me breathe,
Gives me hope,
Gives me love

When I can't seem to find myself,
I find myself in music

If you ask me why I write,
I'll tell you why I write.

Writing is how I cope through the hardest of times,
writing is how I survived a childhood not mine,
writing is how I kept strong when I was feeling down.

When I had noone and nothing else,
I could write down my worries, thoughts and fears,
Also write my pain away and write about a place
much further away.
I could write about happiness, flowers, love and trees,
I could write about everything I will always need,
but never received.

When I was scared, angry, sad and alone,
no comfort was shown,
I wrote in my journal or made a poem,
only thing to keep me from gone.

I needed so much more,
I never got.
I needed comfort,
I never had.
So I wrote for myself,
for my life and my pride.

If I didn't write for myself,
who would write for me then?
Maybe I wouldn't still be,
here on earth as I am.
Because...
I write to survive,
I write to live,
If I don't write,
what's left of me then?

Would you say it again?
Those words you spelled out
But never really meant
Could you do it all again?
Use my love and crush my soul
Does it even bother you?
Or do you not care at all?

I thought we had something,
But it was all a fictional game,
You're like ice and can't be melted,
I'm naive and got disrespected,
I bet karma get's you in the end,
Because you never stop with your silly little game

One day all your lies will be revealed
And all the people you've deceived
Will get the peace that they need

I want to find someone

Someone I can look at and feel complete,
Someone that fills me up with peace,
Someone that makes me forget the whole wide world

As long as we're together, it's just me and you,
Everything is fine,
everything is safe,
Because I'm in your arms

After a long day,
Just come home to you,
Is the highlight of my day

Come and find me,
I'm growing more impatient by the day,
Come here and kiss my fears away...

I look at you,
and I see beauty,
truth,
compassion,
safety,
joy.

When I look at you...
I see love

My actions may not make sense to you,
my thoughts may disturb you.
Just because I'm a little crazy,
doesn't mean I'm psychotic.

I don't eat pills for breakfast,
or have trouble controlling myself.
I simply am who I am,
there's not more to it than that.

I am not mental,
just because I'm not like you.
I'm not stupid,
just because I don't think like you.

I'd rather be special, unique and strange,
than be a puppet on a string,
like everyone else...

Let's be real
Does that mean you really want to?
To know my deepest thoughts?
See my pain?
Feel my fear?
Are you even aware?
Let's be clear

Dear beautiful flower in my hand
I know you want to blossom
And for me to water you
Nurture you
But I can't help you
Even if I want to

Truth to be told,
I can't even help myself
Definitely not love myself

How can someone who feels unlovable,
Create something so lovable?
So beautiful and so peaceful?
I have no peace inside
I'm sorry...
but you have to die

I wanted to be like everyone else,
So I partied to fit in,
Drank to interact with you,
Lost myself trying to find you,
Truth is I don't want you,
Don't need any of you,
You give me nothing...
Nothing but headaches and mistakes

The laughter fades as the time passes,
The time from the last drink,
Without the alcohol it's not the same,
It never is...
Talk gets more serious, more depressed,
More distant,
It's all an illusion

I used to want to be like everyone else,
Feel normal,
Popular,
Liked,
Now I don't care,
It's not me,
I want people who like me for me,
Not who I used to be,
Who they want me to be,
I'm not like you,
I'm like me.

People like you
Have left me insecure,
Reluctant,
Scared,
Mad,
Worried,
Empty,
Sad,
Crushed

B­ut does it really make you better?
Happier?
Tougher?
Fulfilled?
Lucky?
Carefree?

I bet it doesn't,
So what's the point?
Why crush an innocent soul
For a minute of superiority?
It fades away as fast as your own happiness,
But the scar you give away never fades
It stays put forever,
Never forgotten,
Never fully healed,
Always a reminder,
Always a weak spot.

People like you,
Never think,
Just act...
People like you,
Took away my smile,
Brought me to tears every night,
Did it ever cross your mind that your words ****?
**** every little ounce of joy that was left
Kills it all
Do you love to watch me die in silence?
You know I'll never scream
I won't even whisper

The truth is,
You probably never knew,
Never realized,
Never saw the hell you put me through
You couldn't see past your own pain
You just murdered a little girl

You murdered her shot at a normal life,
Confidence,
Thought pattern,
Ability to trust,
To love,
To feel,
To listen to herself
Did you forget?
Do you even know?

It's still imprinted within me,
In every inch of me,
From head to toe,
I'll never forget...
What hurts the most,
Is that you've probably forgotten,
You probably never gave me a second thought,
While it's with me year after year,
Isn't it clear?

A young girl,
And you made her dead,
Before she even started to live...