I didn’t think I’d lose myself in you
Hesitating to fall,
It was a brave conquest
At the edge of it all
Looking down into a pit
And so I went without looking
Convinced that you’d be at the bottom
To crush my fall
Who knew you were the one to push me.

I am an empty vessel*
You have taken all I had left
To give

Closed off and unsure
The gates had creaked open
Just a crack of darkness peering through

As a match was thrown in
Igniting everything in sight
Tearing down walls
Burning through dust
Bleeding with fire and ash
I escaped

I wish I could say unscathed
But now I bleed that fire and ash
I try to rebuild the walls that have crashed down onto me

Walking through the rubble
I look at my feet
There is the match
It’s small and almost insignificant
But it has done so much damage

Every night since you left
I haven’t gone to bed sober.
Every night since you left
I found it hard to sleep.
Every night I open my eyes
and stare at the dark walls in front of me.
Every night I go through the script of questions
I still don’t have the answers to.
Every night I think of a new memory
that is destined to never repeat.
Every night is a pattern
of hopeful and hopeless thoughts.
Every night I consider where to go from here
and your face appears every ******* time.