People always seem to misunderstand me,
It's amazing how they can judge so quickly,
That's why I decided to always be the happy one,
The one to make jokes and everything seemed fun,
But what they don't know is that anxiety,
Floods through me.
How much I hold back from the things I really want

You see it's a cruel world out there
I learned how to people can stab you in the back and pretend to care,
How everything you do
is going to be judged by people who have no clue.

So I've learned to sugarcoat my opinions,
Hide behind a lie: a smile
Be the nice one in every situation
Someone who would go that extra mile

Still it wasn't enough,
In the end I was still misunderstood.
Even if my intentions were good
it still got twisted to some bad stuff.

So I just hold myself back
trying to save myself from all the heartache,
Avoiding the trouble my emotions would make
Sugar coating my opinions
In serious situations
Just drowning myself lyrics
Avoiding all the tricky topics

Yet once again they misunderstand me,
They come up with this version of my life story,
they'd assume I'm always lonely,
And honestly it makes me angry,
Because they don't even know me.

I grew up watching romance anime,
I loved them even though most were cliché,
Shy girl meets popular guy,
Two people love each other but they're too shy,
I remember waiting all week to see if she gives him her homemade chocolates on Valentines Day,
Squeling when they finally say,
I love you
Then they kiss under the fireworks later,
They barely show anything beyond that but I assume it's happily ever after

Every single time, they have their first encounter under the cherry blossom tree,
I remember thinking hey, why can't that happen to me?
But there are no cherry blossoms here you see,
The boy you fall in love with at the first day of school,
Will not be yours by the last episode,
That the guy you always see at your bus stop,
Will not always save you a seat,
That when he holds out his hand,
No, it is not always your hands, he is reaching for
That the sparks you feel when your lips touch,
Are not always fireworks
But maybe just electricity; waiting to shock you

I've learned that "I love you" doesn't always mean "Happy Ending"
I realized that "I love you"
Doesnt always mean "take everything i have"
I found out that "I love you"
Doesnt always mean "I love you"
That "Forever"
Is about as real as you meeting the one under a ******* cherry blossom tree

Yes, his eyes may sparkle,
Yes, they don't see him the way you do
Yes, the words I love you
Feel like the sweater you finally bought after eyeing it for months,
Yes, this moment may feel so surreal,
That you can hear the background music and see the sparkles everywhere,
But you see,
this is not an anime or a movie,
This love is'nt gonna end up the way you planned it to,
Yes, you may be the author
But this, is not just your story.

-p.a.r

Whenever they ask me "What Happened"
I just look at them and say "It's complicated"
I thought it was going so well then all of the sudden,
We go back to strangers; as if we never dated,

It started off as a simple game
I never planned to make you mine,
I never thought you'd feel the same,
We just started talking; from exchanging half gearted insults to cheesy pickup lines,

The thought of us being "more than friends" seemed so sureal,
So I honestly didn't know how to feel,

Until I finally gathered enough courage to ask you,
If you felt the same way about me too,
After your "yes", the happiness was basically all a blurr
But Like they say, love barely lasts forever,
I started to have second thoughts about us being together,
I lost motivation,
Even to reply to your simplest questions,
I didnt keep up a conversation,
I took you for granted,
Barely gave you things you wanted,
Yet somehow I still hate how we ended,
Countless nights contemplating my mistakes,
Countless attenpts to forget you for every shot I take,
Drinking away all the things I did wrong,
Reminiscing from a stupid love song,

Maybe it is true,
That I probably didn't deserve you,
I can't believe how fast you found someone new,
It kills me to think about my biggest regret;
Letting go of a girl I can never forget

11:59pm

60 seconds to go,
Yesterday will be today,
And today will not be tomorrow,
Everything will soon be a memory,
And so will you.

They say everybody deserves a second chance,
But I think I gave you one too many,
You always seem to ruin my plans,
To erase you from my memory.
I don't know why I kept going back for more,
Though I know this has happened before,
You treated me like a game:
Expected a do over after each mistake
No matter how much you make
Still then my feelings stayed the same.

Just how stupid am I?
No matter how much I try
Even after all the things you put me through,
I still can't stop myself from forgiving you.

-par

How could I be so stupid?

To think those day long smiles were caused by me,
How everyday I was the one person you wanted to see,
How that sparkle in your eyes was the effect of my personality
How could i be so blind? To not see the lies
The lies that I've been telling my self all these times,
About how I believed I even had a chance with you,
But when I think about it, you never really said you loved me too.
My brain just canceled out the part when you said "I loved her ever since and I believe it's true"

I was my own canvas,
'Till you decided to paint me black
And turned me into one of your art,

I decided to take myself back,
So I painted myself golden
Then you tore me apart

The way he looks at her,
Is how every girl would want to be looked at

All their inside jokes
which make only them laugh,
As if the whole world would laugh with them.

All their stories, their secrets
Their stares which cancels out the rest.

I know I shouldn't feel this way
Because I have no right to be
I just wish I was that on his mind all day
Someone he'd look forward for tomorrow to see

Its my fault for falling anyway
So i guess it's okay.

-AR