I’m addicted to the feel of cold metal sliding across bare flesh
Addicted to the instant
when nothing marks smooth skin
immediately before
red rivers rapidly rise
painting a once white canvas
with a flood of emotion,
tears on my cheeks,
sobs caught in my throat,
numbness replaced by pain & sadness.
Addicted to the imperfection
of red welts and dotted scabs that follow,
fingers drawn like magnets
to the texture of healing skin,
tracing over and over and over now fading ridges
Amazed that I am strong enough
to heal myself over and over and over.
Convincing myself that I am strong enough.
I find strength in my weakness.

i remember
all the late nights
yelling and crying

i try
to block it out
keep it from my mind

i can’t
forget the things
we said

but the funny thing is
i couldn’t tell you
about the good times

why only memories
of pain

We have come too far she said,
too late to get back together,
But is it?

Been 9 months 9 days since we broke-up,
Stupid of me to let you go,
But my love for you has never been low,
Same feelings ,same me
but it's not the same you,
We have come too far she said.
Have we really?

You got a new bf ,
I am still alone ,
Not because I have no options,
But they don't make me feel the way that you do.

I accept my mistake yes i do .
Deep inside I am still waiting for you,
We have divine connection yes it's true,
My heart still groan ,
When I miss your skin and bone.
It's too late she said .
But is it?

YES it is,
I have tried enough,
I have cried enough,
It's time to let you go.
accepting you ain't coming back.