Pandora dO

Apr 2020

Celestinus Castillo

Everyday I see the train
Inviting locals and foreigners
Smiles exchanged with deep talks
Feelings deepened between passengers

Where does the train go?
Where do the tracks end?
Everyday the train comes
Only to pass by me again

Fed up with my curiosity
I take one step aboard
I want my questions answered
Before I dare ask for more

I take in all the answers
By exploring every corner
As I look for somewhere vacant
I become even more unsure

My eyes locked in to another pair
As if they have found a home
Reconnecting to a piece of me
Deciphering what was unknown

I sit down across from him
He holds a familiar smile
We exchange some playful banter
So I agreed to stay awhile

I found my heart inching closer
I look down before I fall
If falling meant I could be with him
I didn't mind risking it all

Only to realize it was just me
Falling harder along the tracks
I looked at him with possibilities
Getting only half of my feelings back

I didn't know he had a stop in mind
Or maybe I was too blind to see
That loving look I adored in his eyes
Was from thinking of her and not me

His stop was coming up soon
And our time was running out
How do I persuade him to stay
Holding on to what I just found

My hesitation grew with every step
The closer he got to the door
Delaying our goodbyes just a bit
Hoping he had felt something more

The train moved on unlike me
As I stare at the empty space
Wondering of all the what ifs
What if I had asked him to wait?

I feel the train go higher
No longer depending on the tracks
I try to make up for what I saw in him
He was a reflection of what I lacked

My uncertainty about him
Made me certain of something else
Losing him did not lose me
Or take away what I had felt

So I sit on another side of the train
Causing my mind to shift
Wherever this train will take me
I am sure I'll make the most of it

#train #love #story #explore #unrequited

Pandora dO Mar 2020

Overgrown

My mind is a wilderness
with no way of disentangling
the mess that is my thoughts.

I struggle with unraveling
the troubles of my soul
as they keep growing unchecked.

I am lost in the thicket,
looking for tools to find my way,
and I wish I dared ask you
for help with finding my heart.

#lost

Pandora dO Mar 2020

I am a butterfly

I am a butterfly
hidden in my cocoon
slowly growing each day
awaiting the new moon
when my wings can unfurl
and I fly away, too soon.

#growth #improvement #symbolism

Pandora dO Feb 2020

Too early to move on

You still feel warm in my embrace, like you always do.
Your scent still comforts me, like it always has.
You are still soft to touch like all these years before.
I am still afraid to lose you like when you nearly passed.

Yet I knew this wouldn't last forever,
however much I try to deny
that there is this thing called mortality.
I know one day I'll have to say goodbye,
I just don't think I'll ever be ready.
And though you're still here right now,
I already started grieving your loss,
which neither of us deserves
as we still have plenty roads to cross.

So I'll do my best and honor your continued presence,
spoil you with tasty treats and your favourite toys,
and create more memories of you for me to cherish.

#pet #dog #friend #loss #love

Pandora dO Feb 2020

Acceptance of Change

Transitions are conflicting,
they cause a war inside me;
there's happiness yet sadness
for whatever might come to be.

The loss felt when I let go
of that which will disappear
might consume me, painfully,
but I will endure, don't fear.

It's time to face the changes
and ignore all of the doubts,
as better times wait ahead,
I know I'll be fine without.

Who knows how long it will take?
The path could be tough and long,
but it won't matter really,
'cause I know that I am strong,

Pandora dO Feb 2020

Nurturing Love

We are the sprout of a mysterious plant
which takes years to grow and bloom,
and whatever we will turn out to be
we will know once our petals open.

Until then, let's care for our budding flower,
giving her affection, stability, and comfort.
Yet, not so much as to overwhelm her,
lest she might drown in a shower of love.

Pandora dO Feb 2020

Orbiting around you (excerpt)

Endlessly moving in an orbit,
thoughts returning to you anew
as your pull prevents me, completely,
from going anywhere else.