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 Jul 2020 Gabriela Cintron
amanda
you may never have asked
to be my poem

but i never asked
to be a poet
there is a lot of guilt
associated with
writing love poems
for a man who
doesn't want your love...
but you don't know
how to stop...
because your heart beats
in iambic pentameter
Why am I isolated
Why does my voice
Die in my throat
Before I can explain
Why I feel so down

Why can I not convey
The hurt, anger, pain
I keep it inside
Only to hurt my loved ones
Not because I wish it

Why must I push
Everybody to a distance
Thinking it will save me
But only isolating me
Further from my family
How small I am in my eyes.
May I see me as tall as you do.
My underestimation
keeps me from the gestation
of the universe within me
aching to explode.
Early morning when I get up
I am in a fight with the dark forces
that inhabit my bones
and haunt my mind.

And I have a choice:
heaven and life or the devil and death.
 Jul 2020 Gabriela Cintron
Colm
One day I looked up
And there was a storm  
With all of its ominous brooding and I      
Having thirsted and been dry        
(for far too long)            
Rejoiced at your reign              

At your returning alive
 Jul 2020 Gabriela Cintron
amanda
was
the word ‘was
carries a lot of weight
so that you don’t have to
the older i get,
the more respect i have
for the past tense
When I see you
I see everything
I know your heart
Your mind, your soul
Your fears, your past
I know your body
I know you
Intimately
Completely
So you'll have to forgive me
I can't see you
And only see
A friend
Sometimes the words I don't say
Carry the most weight
And that's fine
Because if I'm carrying the weight
Then you don't have to.
 Jun 2020 Gabriela Cintron
amanda

i am sorry.

i love you.


three words
eight letters

i have no problem
saying both to you

you have no choice
but to say one to me
because you can’t say
the other
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