You said you loved me
But you let me go
Didn't stop me as I stormed out
And slammed the front door
I waited outside
Patiently
Hoping to see my baby chasing me
But you never showed
And it killed me
Broke my heart
As I sat outside
Not knowing what to do
Should I yell or cry
Neither
Go for a Sunday night drive
You said you loved me
But you let me slip from your grip
And crack a smile
As you let me go

Losing your mother at 22
Realizing she was more to you than yourself
The only saving grace
Excusing itself from dinner early
Forgetting to push in their chair
An empty spot yet to be filled

Maybe death feels like this
Forever without you
The light refusing to enter darkness
A slip of too many tangles
Staring into too much of nowhere
Still wishing you were here

i am ares: the god of war.
disgruntled by my own blood thirst,
in solitude due to anything but my own accord.
i fear this lonely and cold world; however,
i don't know how to have it any other way.

I don't listen to what people say much
or comprehend many situations that rise
I use plain language like yogurt
and barely taste the sunlight on my eyes -
I shave my face on Sundays
I occasionally stalk you online
I exercise on a bi-weekly schedule of shame
and I lie to my lungs telling them it will all be fine

someone once told me
to be a writer
I must bleed on the page
well here is me hemorrhaging
unleashing my rage
I'm so tired of being a fighter
I only wish to be free
if I allow myself to think
if I let myself feel
it makes me want to drink
I badly want to heal
I miss you
I'm dying
I hate you
I'm crying
I love you
I'm trying
I'm drunk
Help me
I'm holding on for dear life
refill my glass please
I've forgotten what's right
my blood is thin
my will is sin
my heart is dim
my love has been
why can't I bleed!
I ******* hate my alcoholic greed
I ******* hate me
take away my need
someone once told me
there's no such thing as free

I think that often times
The most beautiful people
Are the ones who see beauty in
Everything but themselves.

Being given a glimpse of hell
is what it takes sometimes

When the sign is unmistakable
its time to do an about turn.

Never underestimate a deeper knowledge
it will find the way

-to communicate to your conscious mind
what it is you need to do.

A break.
A busted tire, a glass vase, a fragmented skull,
A break.
Does a break mean there's something broken?
How long-
As long as a femur, as long as an anaconda, as long as a roll of blue tape holding up a picture of my face.
How can you insist on a break, when you claim there is nothing broken?
I want to scream, I love pain, I love rope burn. I love the leg cramp you got while you ****** me on our 1 year anniversary.
But you insist on a break.
What's broken?