abandoned by her mother and father
to take on this cold world alone
no voice left in my throat
to sing the melodies in the song
such a strong girl, yet I break down every night
never forgive you, you let me take on this fight
by myself, without your help
salvation is what I seek
I call your phone one hundred times
leaving voicemails that pled
yet you still don't seem to care
I face my hard times desolate
deserted, this life is hurting
me, myself, and I
why can't I overcome the trials.
just want to be put to sleep
internally in peace

I know I am not sober anymore
I know that I am blue, so blue
But I also know that I crave your lips
And that I want you.
I wish you were mine
You want me to be yours
But we could never be together
'Cause together we lose
(our minds)

The heat is trying to leave me
I feel so cold
And helpless

Will you leave me too?
If I say I need you
And I want to be with you
Will you cut me off?

I don't know how strong
I can be
To step beyond the boundaries

I don't know how real
This dream is
Or is this a nightmare?
Whatever, just don't wake me up
If this can't be real

Will you push me away?
I wanted to tell you
If I could just be
With you even just for a day
I'd be okay

I choose,
I choose to write on my wrists the words I cannot say
Spiraling around my arms the secrets I cannot tell
Finding their way to my neck the sentences  I don't understand
Kissing my ears, my lips, my whole body
A scroll full of ink, red, black and blue
A rainbow of selective colours, meaning not a rainbow at all.
In the morning these words disappear
Evaporate into the tingling morning air to join my dreams in the boxes I have kept them in order to gather dust and remain unopened, untouched and unlived.