You told me I was a pan of hot water and
sometimes it hurt to touch me
but you never thought to turn the temperature down

you just left me boiling

its april 7th and you are still a joke
but somehow you are the only one laughing anymore

I once told you I saw fire in your eyes
and you said it was just the reflection of the
ever burning in mine

I've only now realized that was nothing but a lie

The devil is not red or pointed with hooves
The devil is of flesh
He arrives as the very thing you want most

His name is Lucifer
And he is tall and handsome

He keeps you blind to the raging hellfire
He does not mention you are floating on the river Styx

When he finally pulls the curtain and
gives you back your corneas and irises
You are like Persephone-

you've already eaten seven pomegranate seeds

Born into a house of red hair
soulless people and
beer

my great grandmother is 101 and four months
and she has contracted Alzheimer’s
which means she sees those who have died before her
like her husband
two of her sisters and
four of her nine children

Her sister died just yesterday at 100 and 17 days sleeping in her bed

I was named after dead relatives

Moira for a cousin who died at 20,
before I was ever even born,
a cousin who sang like a bird
and could have been a mermaid
a beauty with straight white teeth and blonde hair
who found death after struggling with anorexia

Katherine for my great aunt who I never met
but my mother told me of her wearing sunglasses and
her sleek black car and
silky hair always tied back in red ribbons and
how she would sneak cookies to the children
holding her legs in the kitchen

I was born into an Irish house
I was born to people who have slaved their life away to make it

My great grandmother was born in Ireland in 1912
and came to America with her family when she was 10

my great grandfather was a French Canadian born in Quebec
who I was told was gentle and quiet
who smoked when he was happy or sad
and worked on houses and cars and a large family

I was born into the legacy
I was born with their blood in my veins

You are so beautiful you make my eyes burn
like you are a ray of sunshine-

but I love you more under the moon

we both are marked by craters
deep blue and black under our skin

I traced your veins with my fingers
and I just want to swim in them

I don’t know how many more times
I can write about the curl of your lips
and the way your hair turns at the edges
and about your legs

and chest
oh god your chest

and your collarbones
and the tattoo on your bicep
and the freckle in your eyes
and the dark burnt edge of it all

I don’t know how many more poems I can write
about how I want to love you forever
how I want to take care of you

how much your illness does not
define you as a person of value

oh god I ******* love you

I thought I was in love with an angry boy

my mother always told me never to allow someone
into your heart who talks about how quickly his fists can move

never love someone who strikes
then listens

I know girls who will take a backhand
if it is followed by a kiss

But the second time you tried to put your hands on me
I moved and let your body slam onto the table

I am worth more than bruises
and your claiming of an endless love

haven't you ever heard
Actions are worth more than words?

I’ve got these worn clotheslines
and street wires humming across my brain

in cold winters chill you told me I was eloquent
but I still cannot seem to remember your name

I stopped smoking to make room for you in my lungs
You didn't find that suitable enough so you left

We are the same person if your bed
has held more people in it than your heart

I see this warmth of a summer day
but I can never know the touch of it on my skin

I wonder what it feels like to be kissed by the sky
Probably kind of like kissing

**you

You asked me by chance in a momentary passing
if I happened to have a lighter

I patted my pockets desperately
for the red one that is usually hidden

I saw you were already turning to leave
and knowing I was losing time

I promptly lit myself on fire just to see
your statuesque form inhale in front of me a bit longer

I watched you walk away into the gray fog
I've never seen you since that day

But I have ever since found myself burning
Literally singed with desire

I know a girl who would **** herself for a dare

I know a girl who has words tattooed on her body like a scroll;
a rite of passage

she found herself face to face with a sleek and solid gun

I know a girl who could make you eat your heart out
on a gold lined platter

I know a girl who laughs in the face of danger
and the fact that a jail sentence is supposed to scare her

a lot of the time she talks in third person
and she skips a few nights of sleep
because once she heard that sleep is for the weak