i am

i won't tell the moon
that i fell for you
because the wind will hear
and will tell the jealous sun about you

we're both running
from our haunting pasts
we both stayed
even though we knew it'll never last

this time together
let's try again
let's run away from everything
but with our hands intertwined

maybe it's true
that i'll never learn
and i'll never be free
from the mistakes i did, and will again be

i knew i'm doing it again
the subtle glances, the little gifts
i knew i was going to lead myself on
but stopped at nothing

now i'm here
with my heart on my hands
thinking whether i should
keep it or drown it

it'll never be enough, i know
the courage, the effort
cause i myself isn't
what more things i do

and now i'm running away
from her and myself
from my doubts and insecurities
finding comfort in words

i know, i know
i have seen it all coming
I've already made a script about it
but tore it as we started


i'm sorry, myself
for being so stubborn
and not listening
to my self-made precautions

but i'm sorry, so sorry
for not believing,
for not trying,
to be who i really am

Why did you touch me like that?
your hands soft, your hands with mine
touched me like you meant it
touched me like you knew

Why did you look at me like that?
your eyes never leaving mine
looked at me like you meant it
looked at me like you knew

Why did you smile at me like that?
your lips so plump, your smile so soft
smiled at me like you meant it
smiled ate me like you knew

Why are you braking my heart like that?
your laughter, so loud, my whimper, like a whisper
broke my heat like you meant it
broke my heart like you knew

touched me
looked at me
smiled at me
broke me

all so bad
yet so good

Don't tell me
That it's love
When you want to keep him
All to yourself

It's not the attention
That you need
It's him, and all of him
That you want

When you tell me
That it is love,
I know that you know
That it is not that

Keeping him for yourself
Not wanting to share his smile
Treating him like your own
But in reality, he's not

You tell me it's love
When in fact it's not
It's you looking for something
That is not what it is

Walk me
Like what you did to him
Be with me
At times when I need you

Walk me
Like what you did to him
But I'll be sure to be careful
Not to let you too close

Walk me
Like what you did to him
But don't walk into my heart
Like what you did to him

Who knew
comfort was in the shape
of sweaty palms
and lullabies?

My dear lovely muse,
I thank you
For being the moon,
For bringing ink

Those sleepless nights
Became my fire
Lit up the world of words
Brought me to the peak

Let us see,
My muse,
If this path I walk
Will again be the path to you

You make me feel things
that I'm not proud of
but if you want me to,
I'll scream it to the world

You painted
skies and flowers
I wrote - untainted
blue poems for hours

You smiled
then the sun shone
It drove me wild,
the blue in my poems have flown

When I saw red,
I deconstructed it as death
Which ever I think of,
It goes back to it

But when you wore it
I saw nothing
But the color of love,
The thing I long for from you

Now I know
Why I can't take not hearing you
Why I hate the world
When I'm not with you


I don't dwell on the past this much
But looking back, I realize
I walk a path thinking about another
A path leading me to you

It is such a scene
A comedic one at that
To see me suffer with words
But breathe out a million for you

It makes me spin
When I write non stop
About how your laugh harmonizes with mine
But stops when we speak

Show me where the fireworks are
And I'll show you Aurora
Get closer to me
Make me feel lightning

When will we leap
into the vast sky night?
Greet me with your lips
And I'll cover you in warmth