Was I really so wrong
in wanting affection
(yes)
to satiate something I couldn’t have
(home)
I am hungry for a pasture
so I fill my stomach with the only peace I can find
(pleasure)

he askin' why I ran out in the rain
can't tell him he made me feel this way again
that boy's goin' to vegas at the years end
I know he likes his thai massage with a happy end
I know if I say my soul all this will end
-- Boy you've got me turning
in circles
crazy like bipolar
red hot then an icy shoulder
lost my composure
walk home rainy night
total     exposure


I see the train coming
what if my shoes moved
I think my favorite-red-dress
would look best on the tracks

I see your past relationships
I'm gettin the scraps
you built an empire outa bricks
I got sticks
wolves come huffin' and puffin'
I let em' in for 120
you got the dough
my wallet empty
treasure the penny
livin off tips
just the tip
for an extra fifty
takeout thrifty
took a showa
I feel filthy

-- he askin' why I ran out in the rain
can't tell him he made me feel this way again
that boy's goin' to vegas at the years end
I know he likes his thai massage with a happy end
I know if I say my soul all this will end
-- Boy you've got me turning
in circles
crazy like bipolar
red hot then an icy shoulder
lost my composure
walk home rainy night
total     exposure

guess I'm looking for a little closure

too much left to interpretation
tryin to be patien
but it's got me down in the pits
these hairy pits itch
but if you need me
call me
what's the sitch
I'll be there on the fly
'cause you my only guy

in my head I'll be asking why--what who when where
but my vocal chords would never dare
afraid one word will end it all
I just want you to give me your all.

he askin' why I ran out in the rain
can't tell him he made me feel this way again
that boy's goin' to vegas at the years end
I know he likes his thai massage with a happy end


He can get whatever whenever
nervous of all the girls passin by
he got his arm around me can't see why
scared I can't match up to the pharo
feelin' like a popper in his maro
windows covered in steam
marry me
make me a queen-

-- Boy you've got me turning
in circles
crazy like bipolar
red hot then an icy shoulder
lost my composure
walk home rainy night
total     exposure

I see the train coming
what if my shoes moved
I think my favorite-red-dress
would look best on the tracks

I see the train coming
what if my shoes moved
I think my favorite-red-dress
would look best on the tracks

I see the train coming
see the train coming
see the train comin
what if my shoes moved
what if my shoes moved
my shoes moved
my favorited red dress
it looks best on the tracks

Spring in California
feels like the dream;
meadows high with sunshine
brushing hips

Oxalic sour grass on your lips
sweet sweet berry

Painted clouds, straight
from your breath

It is falling in love
only,
if you see it

We sat fireside
in the circle of my first hope
and I was sixteen
and it was the only light I had seen
since I came out of the womb

One by one
the poetry spilled from their mouths
as tears did from my eyes
and the cold froze them to my cheeks
the foreshadow of a winter I did not yet know

I used to be an eloquent girl
but when my time came
all I could say was
“I am here because I need to know
that there is still good left in the world”
That is all that I could get out before the tears became too much

That was a few hours
four years ago
Since then
I have seen an entire ocean
played hooky with wine and thunder storms
and lived as an entirely different woman

but tonight I need to be sixteen again
I need to see that goodness again

I am the lady grey
torn from a tattered box
and hung up on your wall
I am the bracelet engraved with the exact place of your youth
and I carry it with me
I am the letter you wrote me in the hospital
I’ll only look at it when I need you
These are not things to take lightly
I am not a thing to take lightly

I always wondered,,,
if I could, play you a tune
and sing blue moon,
would you listen??

If my hair were a little longer
and it flowed just like hers
If my skin were only clearer
would you take photos of me,
so you can see me when I'm gone?

If I were only braver
and grabbed onto the rocks
you would see a lioness queen
hunting for your heart
If I told you what I wanted
we'd be dancing in our socks
on a rainy day we'd risk our lives
crossing the river path
I think if only I were only braver
I could climb to your height
I think if I only were only better
I'd be able to send the letter
that I wrote you for your birthday
still sitting in my desk drawer

I think if I were braver
I'd take what I want
I think if I had courage
I'd face the monsters
If I really cared about myself
I'd tell you no more
I'd tell you  you have twisted me
and made me cry
I'm not gonna keep asking why
for I think if I were more
I would leave you behind

**** me slowly
**** me softly
**** me till dirt is all I need
bury me in the company of no one
bury me in the dead of night
bury me, for my greatest sin is greed

It has been seven months since I have posted a poem,
Seven months since I have closed a tome.
Signed and sealed, a book collecting dust,
My gilded cage open, now collecting rust.

High School heat gave way to the gentle ocean's wisdom,
My life has taken such a turn, **** no word rhymes with wisdom.
Maybe I no longer have such a need for these words,
When I look back I think maybe poems are for nerds.

Nerds and artists who take themselves too seriously,
And seriously what the **** rhymes with seriously?
But too seriously is not how I have learned to look at me,
I am slowly learning to be ok with being free.

Health and life and joy and passion,
I have opened myself up in a quite painful fashion.
And I must learn to be kind to my past distractions,
I must learn to embrace  how I was divided in fractions.

Fractions that now are becoming whole,
And how beautifully the word whole rhymes with soul.
My soul which no longer desires depressions,
But a soul that is willing to ask these questions.

Love and aching still burst my chest,
The weight of my youth can drown out the rest.
But I have healed and grown in these seven months,
****, I have done it again, nothing rhymes with months.