Noticing, across the room.
The one boy who sits
With his head bowed,
Everyone else's back slightly turned,
As little as it won't be considered mean,
But still stings.
Or noticing the one girl who stares straight ahead, her eyes fixed on something no one else can see,
Something that maybe is invisible to her, too.
If you look closely enough,
You could maybe see the drawing in his notebook,
Scribbled worlds like
ugly
stupid
worthless
Maybe he needs a little
Tap on the back,
An "are you okay?"
From someone
Anyone.
Maybe he needs a little time
To rationalize?
Maybe, if given too much time,
There will be none left.

I had a dream that there was something inside it felt like a bubble only whole like rock it held me down to earth in a heavy warm way yet I felt light like I could be carried off in the wind at desire, and it gave me fear but I wasn't afraid only curious because it also gave me something I've never felt, it was constant and consistent with what I could only describe as joy, it made me feel lost so I searched everywhere in my dream for the source. At first I thought it was place so I traveled to every place I had ever been then I thought maybe it was face so I welcomed memories of past love and became flooded with several specific scenes like I was in a TV changing channels and several times I thought I had came close, but as the last person faded, darkness surrounded I had awoke, to my surprise I felt as if I was still in my dream. As I lay in the dark and felt it necessary to type this before much like all my dreams they fade into haze, and in this moment I came to an epiphany. It was no place, it was no person; in fact, it was no object in this world. It was us, it was not the things we did, done, or could do. It was us in the simplest light, it was our mind wrapped in body and soul, it was the way we made each other feel in every tiny little moment entwined with it like held hands laced, these tiny moments walked side by side to create this feeling inside. In these words whispered in my thoughts "love is every perfect moment" I lost all fear. True moment isn't something that can ever be taken, only given.


I knew that I'd always have this; I knew it was the perfect moment and it was intrinsic.

You know, I have a history of abandonment
Of people telling me
I'm not good enough

Of people leaving me
For something they deem better
Making me not good enough

My father left me
For drugs
And I don't feel good enough

My grades are slipping
I'm losing my feet
And I know I'm not good enough

But then there's her
This sweet girl
And she makes me feel treasured

There's this girl
This lovely girl
And I don't feel anxiety

I'm not scared anymore
I don't feel any pressure
I don't need to be good enough

Because to her,
I already am

In winter days
as cold as an arctic rush
I find comfort in
the length of your fingertips
grasping the edges of my sanity
and how your dimples show
with every snowflake;

you blush like the summer sun.

It seems as though
I always want to talk to you
But our conversation comes at a cost
Because every word spoken
Puts me one word closer
To the last words I'll ever say to you.

With hope I could forever speak
With reason and love aimed at your heart
Taking your ears and making them listen
To what I need you to hear
Before you cannot hear anymore.

Carefully I select the sounds I speak
As not to choose the wrong ones
Picking silently in my head
The memories I would like to leave behind
In every moment I spend with you.

I know the last words I will say to you.
They are in my head now
Dancing on my lips
Teasing your ears
But I will not say them.
Not now.
Instead,
I will say them when it is time
For them to be true.

I do hope, however, that when that time comes
You will have already said them
To me.

I spent many days and nights sitting a wake in the darkness of night.trying to under stand why you hate me so much.her hurtful words cut deeper every time I can bear it.the only time that I am free is in my dreams where no one can hurt me.how I long to stay there never coming back.

Is everything she said true?.
Dose everyone hate me?.
Am I better off running away?.
Will I be alone forever?.

My mum held me when I would cry and say don't listen to nasty people.you remind them of everything they can never be.when they came to see my mum I locked my self away in my room.a knock on my door covering my ears so I hear nothing.again more hurtful words where said such as.

You have no uncles or anuts that care.
Your where not more than a mistake.
Your everything that is wronng with this world.
You should fade away.

My mum protected me from them the best she could for me there was no escape.i feel so lost and alone no one can save me from this nightmare.i can not wake from this dream only because it is so real.their nagging voices still ring in my head over and over.a hug would ease my pain for a while.

I am not a mistake.
Everyone loves me.
I won't run away thats what cowards do.
I am strong.
I am beautiful.

When I look at your lifes people talk and laugh because your the joke.no one is scare of you any more age is not on your side.nothing you say hurts anymore.we all see the kind of people that you are.cold sad lonely people who no one likes or cares about.your just jealous and I feel sorry you you'll have someone yo love you.

I looked at you and I knew I was not magnificent
but then you turned to face me
and your eyes convinced me otherwise
the way you looked at me so quizzically
attempting to figure out the patterns in my eye movements
and the slight shape my lips take
when I said "hello"
it's beautiful really
the way you set your jaw
when you concentrate

Have I never told you before?

you are so deep
and I don't think I ever want to reach the bottom
I would jump
I would fall
if I could find an edge
if I could only find an edge

of you

Dare I confess the black stain on my soul?
No, rather, lets tuck it in conscience
No need to feel sickly an numb.

Tuck it away my soulless one

What if I could pull the hands back of time?

You can't sweety, it's done.

Can I make it fade?

I don't see how? It's a dark, dark stain,
And you've been trying so long now.

Even with all my good deeds?

There aren't enough good deeds
To wipe it clean, the lead in your soul
Forever drags your feet.

I don't deserve anything. Why do I go free?

Because you are destined.

Destined for what? A life of misery?

No dear, no, a life of greatness.
None of clear conscience strive
To erase me from their minds
As I would not exist,
and neither would the gift,
the necessity, the change.

But I don't understand?

Your stain is a gift,
The journey of the holy grail.
Where others strive and fail,
You have already failed now strive.

But I failed?

You have failed, but now is hope;
The ever charging fuel of your journey.

My soul is ****** isn't it?

You have nothing to lose,
this is the secret of life's journey

But what of hell? Surely it waits?
I hear it screaming my penance?

Hell? You're already here,
Perhaps one day, you'll make it out?

You think so?

It's possible but
I'm your conscience...
What do I know?
I only know why I exist
And I in turn, wish I loved my existence

So there's no hope?

There's always hope,
I'm still with you aren't I?

Yes, but I don't understand?

You don't need to.
Just keep hope, and in us,
Never forget where we've come from;
You are destined

But I am stained?

No, you are marked for greatness.