****
i know its typical but
i wish you still looked at me like you did
your eyes are an ocean
and im lost at sea
i forgot how to swim.

i know its typical but
i'd swallow poison
if it tasted like you.
especially
if it tasted like you.

i know its typical but
it feels like you were the only drug i need
popping painkillers never compared to
you.

i know its typical but
feeling your lips felt like
being giddy, high, drunk
you were ***** when the times got rough.

i know its typical but
i miss you

i see red everywhere and
a month ago i would have wanted it all over
but now the red is you

I told you I'm here for you, and i am
I just
Don't want you wishing for me when its
4: 44 am and you've been
Pulling out your hair all night and
I'll ask you why you don't have eyelashes tomorrow and
Your mother will ask why theres little blonde hairs on your pillowcase and why
Your eyes are bloodshot maybe
Its because of me and maybe its the disease but
I told you I'm here for you,
I just
Don't want you wishing for me at 4: 44 a.m

i won't let your
beautiful words and
pretentious thoughts paint pretty pictures
on the insides on my eyelids like your
tabs and bars do for you
even if the colors are warm and bright and new and
it feels soft and numb like
i want to stay here forever
i wont

'To whom it concerns'
Is how i plan to start it
16 and the end.

I stood by as you fell apart
and held your hand
and caught all your broken pieces
only to find
you couldn't be put back together
at least not by me.