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Natalie Clark Oct 2014
You reinforce my bad behaviour
With, "You're so pretty,"
And, "I care about you,"
And, "You can always talk to me."
Does it need saying?
*******.
The fact is I don't need you
I just need someone
And that someone always ends up
Being you.
Though it's obvious I'm nothing to you;
Last on your list.
You have so many girls
You could start a band.
And your lies give me a headache
Because after all this time
I'm still the naive little girl
Who loved next to you.
And I thought that wouldn't change
But it did, of course it did,
And every time I get you back
You leave again.
But that disappears
When you're stood in front of me
Telling me how precious I am.
You know no one else says that to me.
Maybe you shouldn't.
This is why I fell for you, you know.
You were the first person to pay me any attention
And the fact is now I could go weeks without you
But I choose not to
Because there's a tiny part of my brain that says,
"He loves you, a little."
And then something like this happens
And I really do need you
Because you were there when this happened
The first time.
You used to understand.
And I will be forever disappointed
That you don't any more.
Natalie Clark Oct 2014
You always say to
Message you
When I need to.
Well, I needed you tonight.
And you replied, alright.
I wanted a fight
And you let me down again.
You didn't understand my pain;
Just told me to learn; that's the main
Thing.
Natalie Clark Oct 2014
Don't you preach to me.
Don't you stand there, all
"I found love, look how happy we are,"
And tell me I have to
Date the wrong guys
To find the right guy
When you are standing there
Preaching to me
All along.
Natalie Clark Oct 2014
My brother farts in
His sleep. I wish he would stop.
My bedroom smells ****.
Natalie Clark Oct 2014
Relationships are
Mere blemishes on the skin
Of time. Nothing more.
Natalie Clark Oct 2014
I get up. I stretch out.
I make tea. I head down.
Shower. ***. Shower ***.
Get dressed.
Man hits the brakes too soon.
I'm eating yoghurt with a spoon.
Who let this old woman
Leave her garden?

I never miss this anguish
When it's not here.
Natalie Clark Oct 2014
Weekend away; cramped in the car.
Pile everyone in, bags and cases.
Stained glass seasons hung on the wall -
Time is inevitable;
Nowhere is this clearer than Fife, Tayside,
Aberdeenshire. The fishing boats and harbourside
Sell ice cream. You struggle to find that
Quintessential smokie but instead find the residential cat
At an upmarket play park; bright colours
Against that claustrophobic sky. The world
Is so small. How did we ever get lost here?
God is love, they tell us, but what is love, dear?
A passionate commitment; we are never alone.
But I do wonder: where will these places go?
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