close your eyes and breathe in the haze
live for the now and love the days
you missed
you, Ms.
let your ears soak up the sound
a beautiful tirade of noise
spins you right round
and get lost in the notes

So when they ask "Are you okay?"
reply in honesty
because half the time i wasn't okay
because half the time i lied
because half the time i would hide
all my feelings as if they would
just go away.
like toxins in the comforting breeze
but i was wrong
just like the times
i hoped for change without changing

And when he told me the bitter reality
and after i cried
and after i screamed
and after i fell
i didn't move on
my bones cried out in agony
and my heart mourned
but i couldn't move on.
Don't get me wrong i say
my life was a mess before then
but who can say how they felt as a babe?

So i try to recall the more it
slips further
i can't imagine being too distraught
but looking back makes me teary
why?
i barely knew her, both of them
actually, factually i knew both for
four years
Am i supposed to be sad?
mad?
my thoughts are muddled in the
cesspit of disparity

But look at ME!
look now and don't be fooled
it's true i took a beating
black and blue
but I'm here- alive
by luck, sure but see
i don't count that as me
i'm much more than words can describe

we call love
something pure
but what if
your love
hurts me instead

You be the holder
i'll be the candle to light your way
but don't be shocked when my light leads you to ruin
don't be surprised when i flicker
don't cry when i die down and can't shine anymore
you picked a candle not a flashlight