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Incredibly good at making bad decisions
Because when things are going well
My insatiable hunger kicks in
To ravage happiness
To every inch

Until it is no more.
My chest tightens
My breathing slows
The world stares at me
And nobody knows

I am being watched
I am being judged
I try to escape
But my efforts are not enough

I cannot move
My limbs are stuck
I feel like I’m dying
I’d rather just give up

“It will pass”
I remind myself
But for now
I can feel nothing else

**And it is crippling me
I'm seeking for a greater good within,
something I don't always comprehend.

Peace within a place of chaos,
Beauty within a city of despair,
Inner purpose with a heart that
feels worthless.

Forgiveness to those who hurt us,
Healing to a heart who feels nothing but pain,
And happiness to a soul who only knows suffering.

I seek a truth so great that the eyes will only,
Be filled with tears to find meaning with a
disturbing past.

I can see my dreams fading
The bright hues gradually becoming dull.

His presence less intense
His words less electrifying
I would like to keep hoping
But my hopes are getting small
Quiet insignificant.

Among the violent wake ups
The cold brutality of the truth
The reality check.

And them...
Each of them trying to steal a piece
Of him
Of his time
Of his soul
Of his body.

And what's left for me?
Just a distant silhouette of what once was
Of us being one
His hand in mine
My heart in him
My midnight sun
Forever...
Forever?

I can only soar with broken wings
And no wind beneath my feet.

I can only run free with wretched,
blistered feet.

I will seek truth for those who
I have deceived and deceived me.
I will repent and let go of a haunting
past that has chained me.
I will escape from dark memories.
I will find my nirvana in times of
tragedy.
Hope will guide me towards truth.
Love and patience will heal me.
I am free, I am me.

— The End —