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 Jan 4 MsAmendable
Jess
A slow transition, yet so quick,
from strangers to healers, we went.
You ripped your skin, I saw through,
and it felt a reflection of mine.

Found a soul pleading to feel loved,
searching to feel safe and adored.
Scars bleeding, pain un-ceasing,
you knew to give, not to take.

Saw a heart that deserves love,
so lost and tired to search or ask.
Didn't know just being there,
felt healing and freedom for you.

Kindness is all you asked of me,
love was everything I had in me.
You healed, only to bleed more,
when you had to make a choice.
I gave you all I that could. But, you had choices to make. I believed you would be happy with the decision, and let you go. Only to regret it now.
476
I tell my friends I didn't study
Because I knew I wouldn't get in either way
I lied to them
I studied like never before
Flashcards
Notebooks filled with practice questions
Yet
I didn't make the cut
I wasn't good enough
shsat
 Jan 4 MsAmendable
Emma
A washing machine hymn,
spinning the sins of yesterday,
clean clothes bleeding in sunlight,
scratches etch secrets on the air.
A girl-child sprawled on asphalt,
cotton slip, a ghost’s armor,
a dagger gleams in Jesus' eye,
and somewhere, my shadow laughs.

I made it back,
red doors collecting whispers,
the absences of children echoing.
No pills for this madness,
no mercy for the lies my mother
folded into the corners of her soul.
Truth’s ghosts die like martyrs
while my third eye cracks wide open.

Acid drips from my lips,
prophecies scrawled on sidewalks,
and I’m not high,
but I see it—
the collapse, the rise,
the sharp edges of time,
splitting me from the center.

There was no pulse.
She’d overdosed, slack,
white foam on her lips,
a classic whodunit—
but the culprit was clear.
It was us.
We ****** each other
with quiet hands,
without shame.
Not everything’s a mystery.
Sometimes reality is what it is:
a cold slap, a silent room.

I’m not here for this.
I’m here to refocus,
to zoom in,
to get my apology.
Otherwise,
what was the point of all this suffering?
How did they get away with this—
the lies, the silence,
the slow burn of cruelty?

“This is best,” they said,
abandonment wrapped in soft words,
a mother’s back turned to the light.
I wait, patient as winter,
for her end,
honesty’s blade in my hand.

Sugar and salt rim the glass,
cocktails of loss swallowed whole.
Everything’s funny in the dark—
they left for unsung dreams,
forgot me in the shuffle.
I hit the ground again,
words spilling like blood,
cold turkey with my soul,
waiting for the rhythm of a door
that never opened.
This is a special one for me. Didn't sleep right my mind's a mess. Happy weekend though.
 Apr 2024 MsAmendable
zak
Her
 Apr 2024 MsAmendable
zak
Her
words moved me, and
God
i wanted my fingers to blister and my
bones to ache
but my mind withers and my heart breaks
i swallowed ink and still i couldn’t
make the words flow like they used to as if
almost as if
they refuse to
Tend to me
Like a thirsty garden once forgotten
Sing to me
Like a crying infant, pure and innocent
Hug me
Like an old friend years after
Look at me
Like an abstract painting, more complex with each glance
Touch me
Like the the cold steel strings of your guitar
Love me
Like you did before
I poem I wrote early last year while thinking about with my ongoing need for co-dependence
My mind is much like the sea
The deeper you go
The darker it gets
Rough outline, might expand at a later date ❤️
 Oct 2022 MsAmendable
Bo Burnham
*****! *****! I **** *****!
***** get ****** when I **** *****!
No ifs, ands, and/or buts!
I **** *****! I **** *****!

Nice girls are nice, but no good for nut-*******.
They'll need a serene night to green-light a ****-*******,
but that'll be easy with ****** ol' ****-*******!
Boo to the nice girls! Praise be to ****-*******!

I have a list. A list? Yes, a list of all the ***** I've missed.
I've never ****** or ****** these ***** and thus my nuts are ******* ******.
So when I **** the lucky ****, my nut removes her from the list---
another dumb cumbucket struck from my nut-*******,
"**** it, ****!" ****-******* bucket list.

***** can be white, brown, pink, or almond.
They can be skinny with ******* or skinny with small ones.
***** can be perky, preppy, or posh,
with their brains and their clothes all shrunk from the wash.

But other ***** are pretty and funny and smart.
They can lift your thoughts from your **** to your heart.
They can talk about science, music, or art.
They can put you together or pull you apart.

But don't trust these *****! Don't! Don't you dare!
They'll force you to trust them and love them and care.
And then they'll be gone and then you'll be aware
of that hole in your heart that that dumb **** left there.
poem reading here--> www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGZ2VqcmZlI
They gave me a prison suit to wear outside.
   They gave me cab fare. I was free at last.
   The only bars keeping me prisoner were my
   appetites of my own creation. I fear freedom.
   Choices are heavy with unseen consequences.
   I love chemicals that stir my blood into a boil
   that take me part way to heaven. Just enough
   to see God on stage raging at the crowd. "What
   is wrong with mankind? Why do you keep ashes
   in your hearts from fires dead so long ago?"
   I wonder at that and wake in my walk up and
   remember her touch and taste from long ago.
 Oct 2022 MsAmendable
bleached
to be a human
is to have thought
they slow my tongue
my lips are taut
9/17/15
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