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 Jan 2015 Michael
Megan Elliott
This girl writes stories
Online, on paper, and on her skin,
She has secrets on her lips.
She claims to be made of tin.
Giving others tips on how to stay alive
They don't know she wants to die.
 Jan 2015 Michael
Gavin Barnard
I don't want to go back.
They'll just laugh at me
For no obvious reason.
I hate it there.
Because of the people.
Because of their ignorant
Or sadistic laughing.

It's like I'm supposed
To be ridiculed,
Like they don't want
Me to be here.

I'm not really good for much.
I hurt people and fail classes.
I just lie down and play games
All the ******* time
And I'm starting to get bored.

They'd laugh at that.
I don't know why.
I'd bring a lighter to school,
A razor too.
And they'd laugh at that.

I'd write and I'd write,
March to and from home
Every morning in snow and freezing cold,
Even though there's a ride I can take.
I'd rather walk than drive.

They'd laugh at that too.
Like I'm trying to be weird,
Trying to make them laugh.

I joined a health care class
Because, surprisingly enough,
I want to help people.
I wear purple scrubs
In a room full of girls
(And one other guy)
And get through my work
Like I know everything already.

They'd laugh at that
And make jokes of it.
Like I'm the smartest guy in school
Because of the people in there
Or I'm a gay little ***.

I don't see what's so funny
About choosing one of the
Toughest jobs out there
For a completely selfless act.
I lost track of time writing this, and now I'm going to be late for school. But what do I care? I don't want to go back.
 Jan 2015 Michael
Gavin Barnard
I fantasize about
Walking into the classroom
Bleeding under my clothing.
A razor to my skin
In the bathroom stalls.

I fantasize about
Swallowing all the pills
In the bathroom at "home"
To wind up on the floor,
Dead and drenched in *****.

I fantasize about
Just being dead.
I won't be sorry,
I won't be afraid
And I won't have to think
About anything I need.

I don't want to hear them laugh,
But I've still got a year and a half.
I want to fit in but still be different
Like it used to be before I lost it.

I started writing a long time ago,
But since then it's, falling deeper in darkness.
Poems about suicide, not winter.
Poems about cutting and crying and hating,
Nothing about being happy or relaxed.

I write even though people don't listen.
I write because it makes me feel better,
Gets my thoughts down on paper.
Stories I want to tell are
Thrown into immortality,
The seemingly endless path of time,
And it brings a part of me with it.

But I don't want to live forever.
I don't want to be remembered.
I just want to be gone
Like I never existed.

It would make things…
On everybody,
Including me.
 Nov 2014 Michael
 Nov 2014 Michael
What about me?
It seems as if everyone keeps moving
and all I am doing is watching
realizing I cant lift my feet
 Nov 2014 Michael
Gavin Barnard
There was just me.
Minding my dark poetry in the corner,
Hiding from the rest of the world.
Vigorously isolated, heavily defended.

Something made it through,
Punched a hole in my lines.
Snickering as girls walked by.
I look up, ready to fire.

I see them, pointing and laughing.
Like I'm going to be a great poet one day.
I open my mouth, ready to ignite,
But nothing came out.
I just stumbled upon my own words.

I need to get out of here.
I feel overwhelmed by their pressure,
My anxiety, my agoraphobia making its way
Down to the center of my heart.

I can't speak. I can't move.
I fear that this battle I'll lose.
My system, involuntarily weakened
By drugs, softened my knowledge.

Those illegal narcotics ruin lives.
There's a reason they're illegal.
This is the only time I trusted the system.
This is the only time they failed.

I thought that in this school
I would be protected from fiends.
But I soon realized that
Fiends are what own this world.
Make it what it is now
And what it always will be.

I want out. I can't take it.
If its death or acceptance,
I will die. I want to be free.
If you want me to live
Then let me be me.

Let me listen to the music I want,
Let me write the things I feel.
Hate the things that I hate.
Anti-war, anti-drugs,
No-hate, no-pollution,
Simple solution,
Down with the system
Person I am.

Let ME live MY life MY way!
I never wanted to come here,
I was just born and forced!
As soon as I can I'll be 100% free!
No more words from me!

I'll still write my heart out.
Write until I can't move my hand.
But the ones who tried to **** me
The day I was born
Will no longer know me
The way I was before.
 Nov 2014 Michael
Dear you
 Nov 2014 Michael
I heard you where suicidal
we should talk

I know im not your favorite person
you probably dont like me at all
but we should speak

cause in some ways we are the same
but i might be wrong
maybe im completely off

if i am ignore this
forget this
but if im not

realize you dont have to live with it

You dont have to say anything
just know that there are people like me who care about these things
so please
if im right
realize that you are strong enough to make it through this fight
 Nov 2014 Michael
Laura Gray
When he asked her
What made her do it,
what pushed her
to such a dark place

The well of excuses
she had used a thousand
dried up from her lips
ground to a halt

“It was the only way to feel good,
an addiction I couldn't help
I needed to do something.”
But nothing she said could fix her mistakes

Under his loving eyes
she squirmed in her nightgown
thin fabric hiding the
scars of a not so distant past

“I don’t understand, why would you
hurt yourself so much?” His words hit her
and her guilt bubbled up
black anger and black words.

“It’s not a big deal.
It’s over. I’ll never do it again.
Keep out of my business.” And the
conversation closed.

But demons are not so easily slayed
and fears, the all consuming
darkness, not so easily

Three weeks he was gone,
not to be back till the sixth
and yet on the fifth late in the night he came
three white roses in hand

ruby red lines painted
her thighs, guilty tears
painted her forced smile
Bad timing or good?

She knew he would yell
He couldn’t understand, wouldn’t understand
blame he had yet to lay
hands clinched for rejection

But he pulled her close
suit soaking up the red
absorbing her pain
clinging to her desperately

“I don’t want to lose you.”
voice raw with love
“I don’t understand, so
help me too”

It was enough for her.
The wall she hand built with such bitter care
shattered, she shook
crying past temptations away

hours wanned, he treated
her wounds, wound up with her on
white sheets, tangled together,
holding her as she spoak

Baring her soul to her swain
she talked until her voice was raw
until the stars faded, and her
burden was lighter than she had thought possible

And after that night
two become closer, every jagged edge
known by the other. They lived for each other
breathed for another

Another time, she could pull herself out of bed
she could open her eyes
and wonder, with that elusive curiosity,
what the day would show her

And the darkness of that endless night
could not push through
the twining of their limbs
and the knotting of their souls
 Nov 2014 Michael
 Nov 2014 Michael
as your mind fills with hatred
as your heart turns cold
dont suffer in silence
dont hide your pain
show us what you are feeling
you have nothing to lose
and all to gain
because if you dont
you dont only hurt yourself
you hurt others too
we all know you are in pain
we dont know what to do
this next part is up to you
all you have to do
is believe we are here to catch you
and jump into our arms
the first step is to
because one day you wont be able to
 Nov 2014 Michael
 Nov 2014 Michael
Things that we wont stop doing because its the only part of our lifes we control.
I cant let my habits go
I hate my life
 Nov 2014 Michael
Joshua Lopez
Fighting the fight
Within me
Worst enemy
my own memories
Can't close my eyes

Endless nights
Can no longer fight this fight

My enemy
My memories
I've done wrong        
Lost myself
I'm far gone

Who have I became?
  The things I've done
Won't ever be the same  
Fear what I'll become
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