A spark sets fire to the walls,
of my tightly sealed chest.
Treasures of past pain,
it previously kept.
Memories of hurt,
betrayal and regret -
now fueling the flames
of my burning rage.

𝘐 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺.

𝘐 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘶𝘱 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘺.

There's very few who know,
how to get close to this flame.
How to steady its burn,
and feel it without pain.
I am nestled deep within,
and the love I have to give,
𝗜𝘀 𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗲.
...But it's locked up in a cage.
Guarded by my fears.
Protected by my rage.
And if it's not safe to play,
then I won't play it safe.
I'll set fire to it all,
just so that my heart can't break.

▪︎ mica light ▪︎

(𝒇𝒖𝒏 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕: 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒔)

'°¤°☆°¤°'

Little drips of honey,
Trickle down your kiss.
Fingertips like
Water wells
That know my
Every wish.

Liquid lovely spilling,
Messing up my bed.
Whispering
Like fire burns
On every
Word that's said.

Tattered trails tasted,
You know my every turn.
Tracing lines
Like pathways
That you never
Had to learn.

Flowing, we are floating,
Suspended in the air.
Lifted up
Like stardust
Bodies weightless,
Minds aware.

Move me through the night,
Take me all the way.
Touching me
Like morning glory
Opens up
The day.

▪︎ mica light ▪︎

I know you're there.
Deep in my bones,
I can feel you.

You're a written scripture,
On the ancient DNA,
Of my body of flesh, bones,
And impermanence.
It permeates,
Into any existence,
Where you and I,
Have hearts,
That beat.

I see now,
That I had to have it all,
Taken away.
Peeled back.
Removed.
So that all that was left,
Was me.

I never needed you.

You have an outdated version
Of me in your head.
And that's fine.
But I can't lie,
I'm pretty heartbroken,
That you'd leave me behind,
This time.

I thought you understood.
I guess...
I thought I knew you better.

I don't want to keep you.
I don't have a reason to.
Time and time again,
Your the constant,
That I always knew.
That simple kind of love,
That I never had to try to do.

But my trust in this truth...
This time - I handed you.

Of all the things I've had to let go,
You were the last.
And when you turned your back,
It was clear -
There really isn't,
Anyone,
To trust here.

And I don't mean that,
In some sad, bitter way.
I mean it to say...
I trust no one but me,
And what a beautiful scene.

My crystalline heart is,
No longer in hands that,
Bring me to places,
Too far from myself.

I am the only one that holds me.
This is how I'm meant to be.
More sure than I've ever been.
I've never felt more free.

But it's a funny thing,
That even though,
you can't be seen...

I can still feel you.

Deep in my bones.

▪︎ mica light ▪︎

You talk like being in love controls you.

Love is not meant to control you.

Love is here,
To show us radical acceptance.
To be trusted to be free, and
To have the freedom to trust.

Love shouldn't pull you away from yourself.

Love should bring you closer to you.

Are you afraid when you talk to them?
Or do you feel calm,
Well articulated,
At ease, with them?

Or do you feel anxious?

Do you feel like everything you say,
No matter what about,
Is always misunderstood?

Do you get embarrassed?
Frustrated?
Do you feel unseen?

This is because,
You are residing,
In a place
That is much too far
From you.

Sometimes, we have to walk away
From the things we love most, because...
By staying,
We are not listening to ourselves.
By staying,
We are not honouring ourselves.
By staying, we are saying:

"𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘰 𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶."

...

All I ask is that this time,
You choose yourself.

So that the love that is meant for you,
Can find you.

▪︎ micalight ▪︎

Saying no to you,
Carved a line in the earth.

It stood in front all the ways,
I'd been broken before.

It kept back all the pain,
While I learned to walk away.

When I am 𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗵,
I am grounded,
I am safe.
But like rock,
I can be cracked, or
Crumbled.
Struggling,  
Trying,
To collect my self back up.

But when I am 𝗮𝗶𝗿,
I cannot break -
I can only be felt.
My state,
Doesn't relate,
To the futile,
Attempts,
To hurt me.
But it can get tiring,
Without being able,
To land.

And sometimes,
I'm like 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝗲.
A flame,
Of passion,
Can burst,
Into a Raging blaze,
Of love,
Or hate,
Or somewhere,
In between.

And other times,
I am like 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿.
I am lifted.
I float atop.
I am given a break,
Or,
I am given a lesson.

𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩,
The waves...
Can turn into a monsoon, and

𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩,
The fire...
Could completely engulf me, and

𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩,
The winds..
May blow a bit too fierce, and
  
𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩,
The earth...
Can sometimes shatter beneath me,

𝗜 𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿.

For if I am to live this life,
There is nothing more,
And nothing less,
I could do.

▪︎ mica light ▪︎

STUCK
In the space between
What we know
And what they don't.

HERE
In this room, that your eyes
Are filling with smoke
That only I can choke on.

YOU
Take up so much space
In this place, you and that
Fly on the wall.

AND
We keep a safe distance
Until a red carpet rolls out
To the livingroom floor.

I
Find myself submitting,
Cause your mouth is so delicious.
Your eyes are so insatiable,

And this story's too salacious.

▪︎ mica light ▪︎

The streets are full
With wandering souls.
The night sounds harsh
Lonely and cold.

I sit in silence...
Until it's broken by sirens.

Drunken drivers
Spin their tires
Windows open
Yelling, smokin.

Cats in heat.
Loud men who beat.
Hookers standing
Waiting, dancing.

Music pumping
Pulsing, thumping
Sloppy walking
Barely talking

Wandering, sleeping
Carrying all they're keeping
Searching for a quiet place
Tonight to call a safe space

....

The streets are empty
Of the love they need
The night needs light
So the dark can take flight

I sit in my safety...
I love my home greatly

Palace of peace
Hear the birds cheep
Plants thriving
Delicious dining

Crystals are blessing
Oils diffusing
My air is clean
My heart is keen

Love surrounds me
In the people with me
I guess I am lucky
I suppose i am free

The world makes me wonder
Thoughts brew like thunder
But forever I will always know
How grateful i am to live and grow.

....

In this privilege of mine,
my wellness i sow.

....

On the day the storm came
You swallowed all the rain
And you tucked the clouds away
Behind mountains.

When the chaos blew in
You set sails to catch the wind
And you harnessed my sins
Into guidance.

I made my way home
Walking on stepping stones.
A path I'd never known
To exist.

And upon my return
My chest beat and it burned.
An insantiable yearn,
Did persist.

So we meet in the shadows,
Breathing air only we know
& with the strike of an arrow
I bleed.

Then I start proceeding
To wrap up my feelings
In the shirt that I bleed in
And weep.

Cause when I get giddy
This sudden fear hits me.
My mind becomes dizzy,
Confused.

So these feelings, I lock
in a heart shaped box
With a kiss on the top
For you.

You couldn't resist
To unlock this gift.
The key was your kiss
To open.

But the diamonds you find
Are a deadly disguise
And a gun lies inside,
Unspoken.

Honey dripped breath
As I start to undress.
Unaware, you accept
This token.

You won't throw it away
So the ground starts to shake
And all that became,
Gets broken.

What lies in your grip
through your fingers,   slips.
Hungry... I am your fix.
It taunts you.

I can only submit
When you hold back my wrists
And make me admit
That I want you.

You feed this connection
I keep asking the question:
What is your intention
With me?

Cause you leave an impression
And my skin is indented
With all your affection
For me.

When its all said and done
Will you've had all your fun?
Would this be all for none,
Obsolete?

Is this true or this false?
Am I just your default?
How would 𝘺𝘰𝘶 recall
This story?

My heart, here it stands
In a dark red romance.
I put the gun in your hands,
And surrender.

Just hope you consider
The tip of your finger
When you tease the trigger...

           𝗥𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿.

▪︎ micalight ▪︎
12•03•24

Lost in the ruins of you.
My soul in tune,
With your tattered truth.

Oh, throw me down,
And show me now,
Just how you drown.

It was wet on my face at 6am today, but
I won.
My heart was jumping hurdles all day, but
I won.
My thoughts were spilling into each other, but
I won.

𝗧𝗼𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱.

Today,
All the fragments
Of myself
That ive transformed
From the inside out, well...
Today,
They were tested.
And,
I won.

I won because,
Despite today
And all my fears,
I did it anyway.

I won because,
I stood my ground,
Gracefully,
And im proud.

I won because,
I innerstand
My love of self
Is a part of the plan.

Theres a reason why,
When we honour ourselves,
We make waves in the ocean of life, but
𝗪𝗲 𝗺𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗸𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘄𝗮𝘆.

Its okay to put your own needs first,
Even when it rocks the boats of others.
And its okay to put someone else first,
As long as your not abandoning ship to do so.

Loving yourself isnt about not loving other people.
𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴.

And today, well...
𝗧𝗼𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱, but
I won.

Because no matter
How hard
They tried to pull me away...

Today,
𝙄 𝙙𝙞𝙙𝙣𝙩 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙮𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙗𝙚𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙙.

▪︎ micalight ▪︎

Constantly on the brink,
Of letting it all go, or
Letting it all sink.

I treasure the moments
When I can feel,
Small fragments of me
Release and heal.

It seems to me
if I'm to love,
it means I have to lose.
𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲?
That im capable
to put anothers needs
before my own?
𝘐𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘢 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥?

It seems to me
if I'm to love,
it means I dont come first.
𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝘀𝘁?
To honour
my own desires
before those of another?
𝘐𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘢 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘣𝘢𝘥?

It seems to me
that the qualities
so loved of me
came to be
when I met my needs.

It seems to me
that I'll cease to be
all the things
I'm loved for being..

𝗜𝗳 𝗜'𝗺 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲.

.

▪︎ mica light ▪︎