Dreaming of
another life I could be spending with you instead of
nodding off in this gloomy, dark, twisted
island I’ve lived on
everyday since you sailed away
lonely, longing, lusting. I woke up today wishing I was
high in your arms, warm kisses on my forehead
as I did each day last week, and the one before that
noticing how empty my legs felt not wrapped in yours
remembering the sensation of your hand in my hair feels like
autumn sunshine on my goosebumped skin
hairs standing up on my arms like you stood me up
again and again
not caring about the stains you’ve been leaving on my pillows every night since

My body is longing for
a soft, supple peony to brush against
my shaky fingers
bringing the tips of my broken fingernails
the concept of beauty
so when they scratch my waist as I put on my jeans in the morning
they remember what perfection feels like.
Let them remind me that I am whole
while they spread the sweet smell of spring across my back and down my legs
serving as a gentle reminder
that my limbs are soaked in silver glitter
filled with wholesome, raw, untouched
magnificence.