Walking down the avenues
And my stomach is turning
Im stuck in my head
My heart is pounding harder
9 little cracks, a dusted off corner
Left alone
They call me a brain vagabond
I dont know where to go
Wonderland, is what i call home

Im not insane
Im not insane
Im not insane
I jumped over a wall
Im not insane
Glasses crack, piano starts
Bass drops
Im okay
Im okay
Im okay

Lips are cracked
Eyes are glistening
Dry throat
I see home
ballgowns, insanity
Heart-shaped hats, non-existent cats

Im run into a strange mans arms
Im alright
Im not insane
Im okay.
                  
                        - m.r. | wonderland

It's sad because I'm lying to you everyday, pretending that i care. I am becoming the person that i never wanted me to be. I know one day you will find out about all the lies i told you. How i was whispering in his ear and having his strong arms hold me behind your back. I'm sorry that you loved him and drove yourself insane and he tossed you away like those rotting white roses. But i'll never be sorry that he chose me. That he accepts me and tells me all his secrets. I love being the one. I know i'm selfish. I know i should feel guilty. But i don't and i probably never will.  I can still hear his high pitched singing voice, reminding me of an old Maroon 5 song filtered by the strong rain tapping on my roof. Tip tip tapping, while we're singing lost stars. We're both aware that you cry, wishing you could be me. But you're not. And i sometimes want to give this all away. But i won't.
               - m.r. | and i even promised you

everybody just sits around and waits for something to happen
nothing ever does
we just sit
and sit
and sit
then we might scream our emotions out
or push them to the side
or watch bad movies
maybe even find a new hobby
to distract ourselves
from the nothing-ness
that is
us