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2.7k · Apr 2013
That feeling
Melaina Apr 2013
like electricity entering the body
heat from the vent, money well spent
being payed up on rent
like winning a trip to Disney land
or laying on the beach in the sand
laundry right out the dryer
setting a candle on fire
calling out a liar
your favourite song on at the right moment
being ready for in the morning
hangovers after a good party
having someone to lean on
is almost like all of the above ,
like the silver blade giving you a hug.
that feeling you get when you cut
2.2k · Jun 2014
I
Melaina Jun 2014
I
I wonder how you'll feel when you notice my accentuated curves,
How hard I'm working to atone for the distaste I had for my body.
How hard you'll sweat when you realize that the lust you thought I had was love.
Or the Downright rejection I had to endure to realize the problem isn't me.
I don't mind waiting on the bench for my spot on the playing field with you to be free.
My metaphor,  my reason for poetic justice.   I wonder if you'll read
998 · Jun 2014
Is it sad?
Melaina Jun 2014
I think it's sad when I do something just to say it's done. When I can't find the passion I had in your everyday words. I can't tell you I've made a mistake,  I decided to talk that day what a shame. I don't want to write so anyone can read, I want to write hoping someone will actually hear.

I want... I need so desperately for someone to hear.

I've made a mistake , but I can't turn back and I can't change it. I can't fix any of this. I want to be better I want for change , I want for simple.i want to go to sleep hoping I wake up not from my dreams,But into a reality that brings more for my humanity. I want to live. I want to be alive again. I'm tired of trying I've went back to the lie again.  Not a thing has changed and nothing ever will.
705 · Jul 2013
These Random things
Melaina Jul 2013
Someone told me a story that changed my mind and heart too.
The world is round not just red white and blue.
The grass does not grow in the summer but dies around June.
I've heard many stories, I've heard many tunes.
I  have tried to love many I've come out with none
You cant give up until your battle is won.
If you skip out of town now , you'll be running forever
When life gives you a chance take it, whenever
Life comes with it's problems laid pretty thick
Everything comes with changes don't you forget
You'll grow old and realize your friends count for nothing
But continue to grow and make life worth something
At the end of the day be happy with what you do
Passion is worth everything , relationships are made for two
Most of the time people in your life wont approve but the most important thing of all is to always do you.
Someone wise beyond years taught me these life lessons i decided to write a poem and pass them on, enjoy(:
704 · May 2013
a metaphor
Melaina May 2013
An ocean
A breeze
Slightly out of reach
A easy smile
A clean sheet
Wait for me to speak
Deep blue seas
Broad mountian tops
I want to climb this peek
Lanky cat tails &
Old man socks.
I didn't think anyone would understand this but each line is describing something but its about the big picture .
656 · Mar 2014
Riding the Axis
Melaina Mar 2014
Happy , whole, complete
As though the sun was shining directly on us
I didnt want to leave,
Like I was surfing emotions
Like a head rush
Like never before
Like a cloud
Like a new pair of sneakers
Like I was floating
Like I was falling
Like the first of everything
As though we were standing still
While the world continued to spin
Like I'm elated
Like you could be the best
Unfortunately im way too nervous to tell you any of this.
603 · Oct 2013
in touch with me.
Melaina Oct 2013
i've been longing for a body which                 could never have kept me warm.
    Reaching arms stretched above my frame catching far-flung reality
   Active against this claiming, taken over by this divine will.
The thought of these verse's and vices.                                            
    My pipe dream of complete armistice .                                          
I had not known of its falsity  , only of my craving for shared naked truth  
    After a radical soul with a particular     Glimpse into lifes inner working.    
      Able to travel and willing to leave.
Trying hard to play catch'up, but unable to find the real me.
Long after running away from the bad , life got a little easy.
     Found a new challange that highlighted all of my dreams.
  Finally able to communicate because I'm in touch with me.
Something I wrote about 4 months ago, a quick write .
549 · Apr 2013
i wish you'd just say it
Melaina Apr 2013
i hate being left hanging
i wish you'd just say it,
ill let it go, this crush
it'll mean nothing just this once
i wish you'd just say it and not leave me hanging
the days long and the nights hard
i feel almost close to starved for your attention your touch
your glance your hand.
i wish you'd just say it
so my mind will be quiet.
i feel like im going crazy without it.
i guess because i wish you'd just say it.
546 · Jun 2013
im alive
Melaina Jun 2013
I woke up same as yesterday
But today i am alive and breathing for the first time in a long time
I feel again.
I Can and will heal again
Now i can move on again.
I feel my finger tips tingle
My heart & my brain want to mingle
And i will , today i am alive
Ive stood still for too long
Held on to all that was wrong
Wound up with nothing  
Today i feel, and i know its real
Nothing fabricated, my life is now appreciated.
I have learned ,i have conquered all of my demons
& My past ive been through hell and back
Now im here standing & im alive
Feeling this way yesterday i hope you enjoy (;
502 · Apr 2013
Far from home
Melaina Apr 2013
Far from home but close to childhood.
I found a medium in child's play.
Not to far, right down the block
But far enough a couple states over
Far from home but where am I from?
Across the ocean through the sea in Germany
Over the mountains and through Tennessee to Alabama Phenix city
Over that bridge and down the road into EC where no one goes
Down the street around the corner
My child hood home I remember
Not at all  maybe a little a far  from home.
487 · Jul 2013
My heart
Melaina Jul 2013
Loving in leaps
Like iron and steel
I've seen too many things
Old but wise with new knowledge
swollen &, hemmeraging
transparent  not quite see through.
loving and liable
my quiet little heart.
478 · Sep 2014
split the world in half
Melaina Sep 2014
Could we make two halves of the world?
The abusers , the capitalist , the terrorists and the colonists to one side with all the land , oil, and riches they want.  While the rest the dream weavers , the children , the peace makers, and farmers on the other with the lands, the plains, and the waters as one .
One half will end in destruction the other in construction
One half will have peace on the other half no sleep.
We should see who will last the longest ,who will prevail.
There's a place for everyone on the peace side but the people on the other side would only want for a piece from the least, the rest only a hand full of people to do their work.  On the hate side they see progress they steal what they can from the land, not give what they could for the future.  Eventually we all lay down our arms to lay in arms and drift to sleep , As I watch out my window counting many sheep.  I'm wide awake dreaming of  a place I've never knew. A world years a way, a world split in two.
Not so much a poem as it is a thought . When I was younger I thought the
World was a dream inside a giant's head. Then I met the stars  and the earth and they speak , They sing .  I worry everyday about the future , that people don't take the earth itself serious that she isn't a beauty to behold but a resource to withhold. I hate the violence, the corruption.  I saw this post the other day saying what if everyone gave up fighting each other and worked together and finally made intergalactic travel a real thing? I say to that person what if everyone gave up fighting and realized anything to be found in the stars light years away could be found in us? Food for thought.
474 · Apr 2013
You left it
Melaina Apr 2013
Lets say you had it.
right there in your hands,
if i were you i wouldn't have let go.
perfect, articulate, safe

she understands it, she feels it
but you left it,
she's different she's quiet
but not quite it?

She's shy, not awkward
not always like this ,
time would've changed her
you'd known if you had not left it.

She like's to sing, she's most of the time mean
but you left it, like she was nothing.
she would have done anything to be everything but you left it.
472 · Jun 2013
ive thought about quiting
Melaina Jun 2013
Just giving up,
I've thought about leaving,
and i've thought about us.
im thinking about my future,
trying to see how I will maneuver
I think about the money the fame
but you only get it if you play this game
I think about school and where I'll go from here
so much time so much potential.
and I think of an easy way out.
im thinking maybe I'll quit.
470 · Jun 2014
Every night without you
Melaina Jun 2014
I wonder why I'm ignored.
418 · May 2013
The days with trees
Melaina May 2013
My spot in the woods
With the green with the trees
Swaying swing falling and feeling
  The suns on bright, i'm here alone.
My spot in the woods
It fixes nothing it heals no wounds
Tumbling struggling
  Calling out to the open air ,
the plants blooming my mind is booming
I'm screaming .
But i'm still here alone just reading
My spot in the woods
Softly sing with the breeze
Soon ill be leaving
Gravity pushes me back
With memories
In my spot in the woods
I wrote this a while ago its very scattered the day i wrote it i was still dealing with a lot , let me know if you understand it not for everyone but i know someone might be feeling the same. Not too experienced of a writer i just started a little bit ago i appreciate whatever help i can get developing my own style of writing
408 · Jun 2014
in the life of insomia
Melaina Jun 2014
2 Am:
Laying in my bed , saying to myself ,"Get me outta here,I have to go."
2:30 Am:Sitting in his seat, thinking to myself , speaking out "Get the me outta here, I have to go."
2:45 Am : I'm riding on the freeway just he and me , the sky is getting dimmer. Rows of house, A park, a bench , and a gazebo. The luxury of the innocent and ignorant
3:14 Am: we're parked , let's have an adventure . All the while I'm thinking again," get me outta here, I have to go"
3:46 Am : "I have to get you home." "I know"
4:00 Am: the water falls down my body into a pool reminding me of my ***** reflection,  I send no text I say no words I lay silent in bed and realize I'm not that voice in my head . She's still tapping on the walls saying , "let me out , come on. Get me outta here I have to go"
387 · May 2013
My Understanding
Melaina May 2013
you lie ive heard it
I break but never broken for long
I feel it here in my chest
Im used to hearing the same old song
I've run, i made it away safe.
There is not much left.
Its just me and myself.
This is my understanding my agreement.
I keep going
I push harder, i go faster.
Ive learned life is a disaster .
Suffering
But this is understanding
379 · Jun 2014
Did you know?
Melaina Jun 2014
That being ignored is said to cause almost as much pain physically as it does mentally.   Imagine being a part of the scenery, constant beam that holds everything in place . To be some what of a wallpaper, something pretty to look at now and then but passed by on a daily basis.You are the chair at the end of the table no one bothers to sit in, turned down because you aren't the "regular chair" have no wear and tear.   Imagine feeling like a star, a literal star that everyone steals warmth from that makes the whole planet livable . But no one I've ever known has looked up to say thank you to the sun. Because it's expected of it, as it is of the beam, as it is of the wall paper, as it is of the chair.
323 · Jun 2014
failing
Melaina Jun 2014
By who's definition?  I could be gone or beaten but I've chosen to keep moving,better late than never? My life can't and doesn't move at the same speed, I'm just not conventional.By what standards must I live? There's been a lot of adversities I've had to muffle through , who knows of these silent wars ? No one has asked I haven't bothered to tell.

These are real things . This is the weight of holding things , they have won I have lost . But I haven't given up.  I've lost so much to get so little, it's almost endless, i still have direction I still have drive.

What if I have been in need of a friend too? To be one and to have?
I just needed to vent honestly. It doesn't rhyme it isn't a poem this is my spiral. I'm deciding if it's going up or down .
264 · Feb 2014
Untitled
Melaina Feb 2014
Even on days like these you cant give up, you've  got to keep moving the worlds going to live on even on dreamless nights you have to try to close your eyes and sleep.
I keep telling myself

— The End —