I think it's sad when I do something just to say it's done. When I can't find the passion I had in your everyday words. I can't tell you I've made a mistake,  I decided to talk that day what a shame. I don't want to write so anyone can read, I want to write hoping someone will actually hear.

I want... I need so desperately for someone to hear.

I've made a mistake , but I can't turn back and I can't change it. I can't fix any of this. I want to be better I want for change , I want for simple.i want to go to sleep hoping I wake up not from my dreams,But into a reality that brings more for my humanity. I want to live. I want to be alive again. I'm tired of trying I've went back to the lie again.  Not a thing has changed and nothing ever will.

in italy, there were fascinating times while reminiscing about how mesmerizing the feminine foreign specimen populace.
gazing at feminine foreign beauties i saw while staring at the multitudes beyond them made me know they were a perfect ace.

a monastery would educate me in the clergy as i walked up steps, my firm grip ceased to coexist with my ecclesiastical tomes and they went off steps that were steep.
a foreign gentle *** appears out at the corner of my eye behind a ruined wall, and for a minute, she bit her index finger nail in accordance with her beautiful white teeth.

as soon as her eyes connect with my eyes, i knew there was a visual connection going on between us two; the attention to details, the physical aspect of ****** human interest.
we continued to look at each other for over an hour and i had such an attraction to this young tan brunette, brown-eyed foreigner who had a t-shirt logo of a moon crest.

And looking back at it-
I swear you ****** the life out of me
Faster than you burn through your cigarettes
You left me there;
Charred and used
Just another decoration in the sewer drain
You stepped on me
To make sure that my light was completely gone
As you reached in your back pocket and pulled out another one

I want to thank you.
Thank you for all the bruises
and the black eyes,
and the ****** noses.
If they wouldn't have happened, I would not be where I am today.
I'm not going to sit here and tell you that it was me that got me where I am today.
Because that would be a lie.
It was all you.
You were the person who made me who I am.
You molded me.
You shaped me.
You damaged me.
You broke me.
You ruined my life.
Rot in hell you *******.