I kept a quarter in a drawer next to my bed
for when I made decisions that hurt my head
where each choice came at great cost to my sanity
so I flipped a quarter to cheapen the price to twenty-five cents
and I said it's just common sense keeping innocence
but it's ignorance and guiltlessness that I wanted for me.
When a quarter felt too heavy I moved on to a dime
because it was lighter than its cost and fit my indecisive crime
but I find I tossed it too high and couldn't always catch it
so it clattered to the floor and rolled beneath my dresser
and maybe if I left it there, my decision-making stressor
would disappear like the dime then I could quit
Yet decisions kept on coming and so a nickel would have to do
five-cent choices should be worth less than dimes too
and yet again, I couldn't bear the weight of my choice.
So instead I flipped two pennies, to get my two cents in.
One landed heads, the other tails, and I still have a decision.
I can't keep flipping coins to replace my voice.
My treasure trove of choices worth less than the ones before
because they're all plastic, made so I don't have to endure
the weight of cost so I selfishly kept on flipping
all these coins and kept on wishing they would never land.
Fifty-fifty, leave my choice to chance, take it out of my hand.
If my coins never land, then my decisions cost me nothing.

I miss being who I never was....

Once it stood
shining,
vibrant,
radiant,
its brilliance
beautifying the surroundings.

But now,
after a minutely short existence,
it is
changing,
aging,
dying.

Each tender, silky-white petal
turns to a rusty brown,
then silently breaks away
and falls
peacefully,
gently,
to the ground.

As I watch helplessly,
I frown,
knowing
that soon
it will all be
over.

I drank the ocean,
Down to the very last drop
But I still feel empty

I stand on the sun
Blind and burning
But the shadows inside remain

I watch the stars turn
In the black of the night
And see my heart reflected