Heart pounding
hands shaking
at that terrible
two worded
phrase:
"leave me."
A silent plea
made in the middle of the night
out of nowhere:
"please, let me go."
It makes you want to hold tighter
to swallow them up in your chest where you can keep them
and nurture them
and ensure their safety:
"we're hurting each other. It'll be for the best."
Maybe you are hurting each other,
but the flame burns too beautifully to put out
and though your mind numbs with it so do the bad feelings:
"you're consuming me. I can't be like you."
No, but they can be something better.
Though they're laying still, you can feel their aching struggle:
"you scare me. Your eyes are dark. Your mind is dark. I think I may hate you."
Oh, how you want to crack their skull against the granite and watch their blood spread across it.
Even still, you only wind your arms more tightly around them:
"I may love you, too, but I can't be sure like this."
How? How can they be unsure when you look at them like they hold the keys, and they look at you like the Frankenstein monster turned beautiful?
They shift, just a little.
Your fingers curl in their shirt:
"leave me."
You want to cradle them in your arms and you want to scratch marks into their cheek and you want
their eyes to bleed and you want their eyes to see and you
want them to feel the pain they've caused you and you want to keep them from the wrong air and
you
want to protect them and expose them and yo
u want to be responsible for both their life and death and you d
on't
want them
to go.
You would rather hold them hostage than let them unlock their cage.
You can't let them win.
The pillow stifles their breathing.