I've read stories about boys like you
The kind that break hearts
Just by stepping away

I've sung songs about boys like you
the kind that rip apart lungs
and kiss with their teeth

I've loved boys like you
who crossed their hearts and hoped to die
But ended up just killing me

i didn't know that losing sleep meant losing you too.

how could the hours upon hours i spent sleep deprived, bleary eyed, drunk off your opulent words, mean so little?

were the words you said just a myth?

just lies escaping your lips?

all the evening stars leading to a early morning sunrise, did they mean nothing?

why is it that your words were more comfortable than my bed?

why is the thought of not talking to you far more fear inducing than the test i have early in the morning that i did not study for?

the bags under my eyes,

the slowness of my step,

the drop of my head on my desk,

all worth it.

every second speaking to you was a gift.

and then you were gone.

and i thought that i could finally sleep again.

except that's the funny thing,

i'm not.

even now i'm still losing sleep over you,

even now?

there are tears on my pillow.

even now?

the words that used to rock my world make me terrified of the goodbyes just as we started our hellos.

and now,

callous in passing we remain.

He said, "It must be nice, to sleep in and nap all day"
He said, "I'd like to try it some time"
And in my head the monologue began:
"It's all that I'm good for"
"It's all I can do without ******* it all up"
"But even that's a lie"
"Because I can't even sleep anymore"
She said, "What's bothering you"
I let out a 'nothing is bothering me'
And it was true.
She said, "If you need to talk you know we're here"
And I thought, "I wish it were something I could do"

I saw myself falling and falling
Getting hung up on every little tree branch
Every bump in the road
And I realized it was time to cut the excess
I drew my knife and sliced at all that was holding me back
   feeling the sinew tear at the blade
I lightened my load to the bare bones and ran
I ran towards all that I dreamt of
I have never needed all those things holding me back
I needed myself
The security blankets wrapped so heavily around me were nothing but
The security I needed is in my mind

they said i built walls
and maybe they're right
i'm scared of the world
and the people it hides
these mountains of brick
stretch up to the clouds
and i'm all alone
but i can't get out
I hear them outside
they try to get through
these walls like a foretress
are holding so true
im alone and afraid
of the people out there
im afraid of myself
im afraid of myself
if lying's a sin
then i am no priest
i tell them i love them
to give them some peace
but i don't really care
if they stay or they go
they're outside my walls
lost in the flow
you came to the wall
like everyone else
another lost soul
outside of my cell
i stared at the ground
without lifting an eye
your hand on my face...
...you were inside

you broke through my cage
like it wasn't there
and all in one instant
i wasn't so scared
you sat down beside me
your story you told
with you beside me
i wasn't so cold
you've lifted me up
so I can stand tall
you showed me true love
here in these four walls.

nowyouregone
thewallshavecrumbled
andiamcrushed

this void i am made of
disintegrates
when i look into your eyes
and your hand touches mine

(cjw)

you, my love, resemble rain

sporadic and full of deadly potential

a downpour of passion or a sprinkle of melancholy tendencies

yet somehow calming and innocent

humbling in the purest form

and terror at its darkest

~As the car crested the hill side drive at 10:03p.m. I witnessed lightning prance along the skyline like fawns and for a split second I lifted from my glazed over state and felt moved.
~Now it's Midnight all I can think of is you and how I might convince you to stay with me for a while and, Dear, quite frankly, I'm at a loss save this one particular idea.
~I may not be able to give you forever and I **** well won't promise it to you because we both know right now it's preposterous to say something so everlasting when our mortal bodies are so limited.
~But I can give you the nights together that we still have to experience.
~I can promise to never leave your side emotionally because, obviously, we're not as blessed as the lovers who live next door to each other thus being around each other physically is a plain challenge.
~As the looming shadow of a higher education chills me I know this much:
  -there are hands to be held
  -sweet nothings to be told
  -and there are nights meant to be spent together.
~There is only one person I can stand to give my time to at this point and at the same time I'm dying to soak up all of theirs.
~And that person is you.

The universe is in constant equilibrium,
This much is basic.
But most fail to see it in the dark corners of humanity.
They fail to notice that there is a sigh of relief for every gasp of horror, as if the air goes from one pair of lungs to the other.
We reject the idea that for every happily ever after, there is a pair of broken hearts, as we'd rather stay where we are than move to where we need to be.
We fail to see that we need as many dreamers to see the possibilities as doers to make them reality.
Without one, the other cannot exist