I waited
Loyal, by the window for my prince to return from battle
Or for you to come home from work
But it seemed to feel the same
(As) I waited
To find solace in smiling eyes
That never failed to flip the switch
So I could see the light in me

I mimicked
Poker faces and faraway places
In accents we wished could be ours
You taught me to want more than now can offer
And I’m anxious to see where later will lead

I idolized
This deity more worthy than any I’ve found
And when they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up
I said,
“A technical writer, just like my dad”
And it didn’t matter what ever the **** that was
Or its salary
Because, to me, being like you was the best thing I could do

I needed
Your bedtime songs to find sleep in the dark
With a voice that somehow sounded like pride
When you spoke of me
Warmth
When you spoke to me
Knowledge
And resilience
And a difference
All your own

I detached


Slowly


Without noticing


Gaps


Where there were once bridges


Realizing


Too late


I was too old


To hide under your covers


When the bad dreams came


Too old


To cuddle up on your lap


And squeeze you so tight you could never get away

But it was me
Getting away
Without knowing
Where to go

I felt
Time locking me out
Away from you
To find me
And I know
I’ve ****** up in the process
And I know
I’ll **** up in the process
But if the apple doesn't fall far from the tree
How great that means I may be