Oxycodone


My body feels light
But
My eyelids are heavy
My throat is tight
And my palms, sweaty.

My heart beats steady
But
Each one could be my last
I can't stay in this reality
I like My world made of glass
Because my baby, Oxycodone
Is an offer I can't pass.
She comforts me at last
And finally I grasp
It's not reality I fear

It's the person

In the mirror.

After too much thinking
I have decided nothing
After too much sinking
I've decided to keep drinking

All of this is beautiful
Yes, certainly it is

But why
Why all the pain
Suffering

What is this?

Anyway brb
Soaking myself in hopeless **** sea.

The more  I try to surround myself with people and love the more I find myself alone.  My hidden secret that no one knows my pain and tears I will not show.  My only company, the silence is sound, no one is calling and I look and no one is around.  The only person I truly have is me, no husband, no family, no friends not even an enemy.  When my life expires and turns  to eternity no one will even notice not even me.  The silence will not mourn and alone will not cry, the darkness will stay dark and no one is there to wonder why

1,422 days
in love with you.
You ran my mind
but did not have a clue about it
I hate to be so cliche, but it felt like love at first sight
though the probability is minimal
I stand by my word
you walked into my life & I couldn't seem to shake you from my mind

I was a teacher.
I loved the job.
I didn't need to be intelligent.
Many of my students
Were much smarter than me.
Some were genius.
I never,
Not once,
Ever,
Felt threatened
By their wizardry.
I knew
I was
More knowledgeable.
And by the time
They caught up,
They didn't need
To feel so smart.

I will hold your patience
to the test, with
mere glimpses
of my careful self
And
I will do so
by pouring myself
into your hands,
drip by drip,
like a hot tea.
A rare, scolding
feeling.
An intriguing smell,
and a soothing steam.
Slowly rising,
filling your brain
with the thought of me,
hot, hot tea.

we sat next to each other

and I ignored the tension

and laughed and teased

and felt at ease


but you grabbed my hand

and traced my palm.
your touches
slowly crawled up my arm,

your thumb massaged mine

and you pulled me closer

and raised my hand to your mouth

and kissed my fingertips with your soft, soft lips
.

but this incredible lust

would pass with time

and you would never truly

be mine.

so I tried to convey all of my pain
in a soft kiss on your shoulder

and as I released myself from your grasp

my eyes started to tear,


and I forced myself to realize
that it is probably best
that I will never get back the sensation

of having you at my fingertips.