I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

I remember the evening
that we sat clinging
to paper cups
of coffee gone cold

over secrets spilled and memories told
two bodies cursed
with hearts grown old

behind your eyes
I found new worlds
A winding road stretched out for miles
to a small cafe at the end of the isle

Sweet pastries filled the mouths
of those who sat beside us
and stayed for a while.

How the hours went by,
people just passing through
The descending sun ending
a forever with you.

Ingredients:

suitcases
photo albums
quick wit
a  new space that is comfortable to breathe in, raise other beings in, and nurture pets and your spirit in.
Sprinklings of humor to shake on it all when it gets to be too much. Mason jars of self-appreciation and worth to open in an emergency, if these qualities are forgotten and old patterns resurrected.

Preparation:

First, sit quietly with yourself.
Breathe deeply, as many times as you need.
Fill as many soul cups as you can with confidence,
and pour them on yourself, until they sink into the
soapstone of your pores.

If needed, tip back your head and open your mouth,
in order to have a more direct inflow.
After that, take just as many cups of calm
and pour them in, slowly and with generosity.
It is okay if you overflow; you may need extra serenity
later, when you are in the midst of action.

Let the two ingredients mix, slowly, until colors as yet unnamed
are formed in your solar plexus, spilling
throughout the entirety
of your body.

Take a break and blow bubbles, for lightness.
Yes, you may laugh like a loon.

Marinade:*

After the laughter has subsided, take a big dose of self- love and rub it all over yourself, drizzled like fine coconut-scented oil. Do not miss a spot, even on the parts that you have a problem with. In fact, give those extra love.
And now, for the rub*: This has been simmering for a while. It is time to push it all into the oven and bake it. The heat is rising, so be quick.
Take all precious memories and sew them into the pockets of your coat. The ugly ones, burn, quickly and thoroughly. Scatter the ashes into the wind.
Hang new pictures on the wall.  Splashes of nature you have photographed. Mandalas created by a precious daughter. A platypus wishing you goodnight by your little flower imp. A cheeky photo of your boy, to remind you of inner sauciness.
All of these strengthen with love.

Finally, rest your head upon the new pillow and inhale the scent of freshly laundered springtime. For now, the ordeal of your winter has ended.

Time for a long, languid, luxurious dessert.
A new life!

Bon appetite!

"I didn't mean to break it" he said,
Holding my heart in his hands.
"I didn't mean to break it
I swear it wasn't my plan".
He held my mangled heart out,
Unsure of what to do.
"I didn't mean to break it,
But I don't have any glue".
I watched him let the pieces drop
And bounce around the floor.
"I didn't mean to break it,
But I don't love you anymore".

a laugh
a reckless smile
a chuckle

how hollow
how empty
how harrowing

eyes clicked shut
ears jammed close
limbs weighted

and air turns liquid
corrossive and thick as
fumes of consuming embers

the hunt
turns frenetic
goes frantic

still the screen remains shuttered
the space under the door
letting little monsters to trickle in

but no light comes with them
plugging close whatever's left
of illuminated space

and they shrieked their attendance
announcing their presence with
the aplomb of a fairy queen's coronation

i asked them
one simple question
'what? what made you come here?'

their gazes devoid of empathy
they looked at each other
and their still arriving mates

and voiced one answer

'because you are you'.

and i feel my lips tugging at the corners
and my tears building
in the dammed lake behind my retinas

and my feet grow roots
to seep and spread
beneath the barren ground

How I was in a rush
To fall for a crush.
Was I a fool
To fall for your cool.
I thought I was yours
Till you left me to mourn.
You didn't even budge
And now you're letting me hold the grudge.
How I imagined us being the perfect duet
Since the very day we met.
What an amazing creation
Caught up in a foolish imagination.
It's a shame he didn't notice me
And gladly did I look upon he.