If God could physically see how far I've came, and how happy I've become, he would be so proud of me.

So proud.

I wish I could wake up too you.
Wake up in your arms, as I crawl up in a ball and lay on my favorite spot.
Your chest.
I wish I can lay my legs in between yours, as you hold me real close,
and fall asleep to a movie that we wanted to see last night.
I wish I could hear you say goodnight,
Not through mobile.
But Rather to my face,
So I can kiss you goodnight, and fall asleep until the sunrise,
Because with you everything is alright.

Emotions flooding in me,
As the tears roll down my face.
As the person I care for,
Is having thoughts of harming themselves.
Being unaware,
Feeling helpless.
Feeling as if you're not trust worthy enough.
To have them open to me,
In time of need.
Scared to tell me;
That there having thoughts of suicide.
Thoughts of losing me?
But what about ME?

What about ME!

Wake up one day, and you're not there.
What the ****,
******!
What about me!

To scared to open up to me,
I admit.
Me speaking about my thoughts.
I would never.

"I'm fine".
Shut up.
Those words are a way of hiding one trues emotion.

If you was okay, would there be thoughts of suicide?
Telling me you're fine. Partially faking that you're happy.
So when i fall asleep,
Thoughts enter.
4 in the morning and you're lonely.
You took that belt,
As if it's the answer to your nightmares.
You took that blade.
As if it's the answers to your suicide dreams.
Afraid of telling me because you were to afraid of losing me.
But what about ME?
******.
What about ME!

Not knowing everything isn't alright.
You telling me it's just a dream,
As if you didn't try killing yourself last night.
What about me..

Me.

What if . I ..
Send you a text, and I got no response?
What if that suicide attempt passed and your soul wasn't alive?

Anger building up in me.
You telling me, that you're hanging up.
That you're sorry.
I hate sorries.
Stop telling me that you're sorry
I'm not forgiving,
I'm not forgetting.

I'm a little tore up inside.
What can you do to help a person, who's afraid of losing you, when you're afraid of losing them The most?

What if it was "I" who attempted those suicide attempts.
Told tou nothing.
You woke up to no reply back to ones text,
Messages bein sent to you.
Telling you,
That I tried to **** myself last night, and it went through.
How would you feel?
****** how would YOU FEEL?

Last phone call of the night.
Because I do not feel right.
I feel so angry.
Why couldn't he have told me?

What about me.
******..
What about ME?
I could of lost you physically.

Baby..
What about me.

Us.

Ever been so angry and not know why?
To the point where you pushed everyone aside?

Haven't had much inspiration.
It's like my mind is going crazy.
I can't seem to put the words that want to be said out on paper.
I'm at ease.
This feeling,
I am not understanding.
Is there nothing to say?
Nothing to write?
...  
I cannot continue.

People will love you and support you when it's beneficial.