As I dropped the blade
But Were they really tears
Or tears of despair
Hug and a kiss
A hug and a kiss
Can be the language of love
Please don’t bite your tongue
Richard L Ratliff
So today I wrote a rant in math class. I had a lot on my mind and I needed to write about it.
I showed one of my friends and he almost cried. He said it was realatable.
So here it is I guess. Tell me what you think.
Yah know when you need to write something but you don't have any paper?
Or when you want to text but your phone is dead and you don't have a charger?
Or when you want to talk but can't speak?
You'd just buy more paper and a charger right?
What if theoretically, you have no money and you can't get any
because there are no people around to give you any?
Then you can't buy anything period.
Then there's no point in talking and communicating.
after you realize you can no longer communicate,
You block yourself in.
You walk the world alone because you know you are alone.
You feel like nobody cares because there's nobody around to cafe.
Then you stop caring.
You stop caring if there's a tomorrow
because there won't be anyone to spend it with,
That if the world were to end today you wouldn't care.
You'd become silent,
you'd be silent,
you'd live silence.
Even if there were people and you couldn't communicate
You'd still be alone,
because they'd lose interest in you.
You'd still be alone and feel like no one cares.
In a wild free roaming world you'd be the caged one.
You'd also stop caring about tomorrow
Because you can't talk to anyone and they don't talk to you.
What if you could talk but still feel like that?
Feel no one cares because you're you?
Feeling powerless in a world where you don't think you matter?
You'd always be alone,
even if you have the power to speak,
Youd know that'd you be alone because no one would like your opinion.
You'd always be silent because
you're scared to be you in a world that doesn't want you to be you.
You'd grow tired of being an empty shell.
You would get angry that no one feels you matter,
But deep down even you don't feel like you matter!
You still wouldn't care,
like you're reaching out to something non existing.
If you can't express you're opinions then why would you matter?
If you're scared to be you because of others then why should you matter?
Why should someone care about you when you don't care about anything?
You go silent because you worry too much about what others want,
Not what you want.
You fall silent in the world you locked yourself in.
Why suffer in silence when you can rise in noise?
What's the point of being you when you just want to be someone else?
There is no point then if you truly 100 percent feel like that,
If you don't Atleast try to be you and have an opinion then there is no hope.
You'd just be a silent unsung song in the distance of no ones mind.
Well stab me enough times and the skin doesn't grow back,
Use all different kinds of knives!
Rub salt in the slits,
A body scratched like an old disk.
Still, It's different when the blood dripping from your wrist to your thumb is warm...
///You wouldn't look at me if you didn't have to,
You wouldn't speak if I didn't make you.
How do you say I'm ******* sorry in sign language? Since you're not gonna listen,
You put your hands over your ears every time I walk by.
How many people have to die,
for you to understand.
That you don't hold someone's life,
in the palm of your hand.
I keep trying to bring myself back
From wherever my mind is
And put myself back in my body,
Back in this world.
But it doesn't seem to be working.
I wander outside
And name everything
I can see or hear.
In an attempt to make some connection
To the physical world around me.
But I can't.
I run my fingers through grass,
Study leaves closely,
Stick my hands in frigid water,
But still nothing is able
To bring my mind out of the hole
It's fallen into.
Talking to someone,
Being around people,
Maybe that would force me out
Of my mind and into real life.
It's a shame I'm so alone though.
The only other thing
I can think of
That could maybe help me
Reconnect with reality
Would bring more disturbance
To my already distressed state.
But it's so tempting