i am fearful
of you,
who decided
you wanted to know me
and i am fearful
of me,
who is willing to hurt you,
so i can hurt myself.
i am afraid
when you stay,
because i know
you will leave soon.
and i am afraid
when you leave,
because i really wanted you
to stay
(my favorite dreams
are when you walk away from me,
because i know you will be happier
without me.
and my worst nightmares
are when you stay,
because i know
it’s only a matter of time.)
keep your distance
because i am scared of you
who will inevitably
hurt me
in the end
i do not deserve the you
who will build me up.
i only deserve myself,
who will continue to break me down.
—i am afraid of how much i need you