Looking for my train
In my lost clothes
And I having no story anymore

در لباس های گم شده ام
دنبال قطارهایم می گردم
و من دیگر قصه ای ندارم

The moon was full and bright just
the other night.
The howling and appearance  of the wolves
were nowhere in sight.
Fog draped the sky like a velvet cloth.
Flying bugs showed up. ( Gypsy Moths)
Such a fear was released in the air.
It bellowed deep within me shattering
my thought's with bells ringing in my ears.
I fell to the ground, not being able to take the
next step.
A taxi then pulled up with a lady in the
rear.
I was told she asked the driver to stop.
That was the last i was to hear.
Morning followed with the sun beating
down on my face.
I awoke in satin sheets, and a unfamiliar
place.
Three knocks with a butler opening the door.
Asking "Coffee Sir"? I reached for it in
my pajamas of silk.
I felt like a piece of a puzzle that would
never find it's way home.
Interrupting my thought came a voice of
a woman. A beautiful woman. "Thank you Simone"
She said to me that i have been missing for hours, and
time to get up for my morning shower.
I did what she said, and at the same time thinking
i maybe dead.
That's not the case. I just happen to be in
another place.
My mind speaks to you. It's what so many of us go
through.
I'm a man with Alzheimer's. Someone who needs
to be cared for. Please don't make me wander
anymore."

He left for good today,
It was earlier than expected and without notice,
Just a voice on the phone
Saying, “He’s gone”.

I went to the place where he lived
Hoping it was a mistake, but he was gone,
Hard to believe,
Difficult to accept,
But he is gone and my world is a lot scarier.

I’ve got his place now and I am not the man he was
Because he made it easier for me than it was for him.
He did this selflessly and with
Joy because I was his son.
  
Am his son.

An honor I didn’t have to earn,
Yet I want to be worthy of it.
So, I have to find my balance
And do what he did for me when it was his turn.

There are people behind me
Who need the things he gave me and
There are people behind them.
Though the shoes they must fill are smaller
Than the ones I step into.

Safe journey home, dad.
I’ll see you soon and we can talk about it all.
Rest well ‘til then

The fog came in and cut the hard edges off Monday morning,
Which really didn't do much good because a cold rain
Fell through it and soaked down to my soul.

It is the kind of day when reality bends and
The big questions beg for answers,
Like where does the spark go when it leaves?

I mean we turn out the lights, but the beam travels
Endlessly, the fastest thing we know, to the end
Of what?

The universe?  Time? (Whatever time means compared to eternity)

So, the light in our eyes, where does it go when the power is cut?
Or am I supposed to accept, Dr. Hawking, the light we make
Rubbing two sticks together is superior to the light in us because we
Can't yet find the formula for sentience or measure
It's limits beyond what we can see?

Big questions, foggy, rainy Monday and I am alone
A week after the light went out in dad.

I expect he’s out past Jupiter by now, heading home.

He’s also right beside me, I can feel him, thank God.

The most
dangerous
are those
sincere
in their belief
of a lie

all your flowered dresses
thrown across the floor;
my bedroom--
our secret garden.

mostly it is the darker days,
   povoking thought.
tracing memories from
   forgotten fingertips.

words silenced.
voices forgotten.
perfect mornings.
  always changing.

    mostly it's the same.

feeling reality,
    fleeing god.

tonight, it's perfectly
clear to me.
i'm sorry.

There was hidden poet in there
filled with misery
concealed safely
behind the smile
tucked in tight
that looses itself at night
beautifying the misery of life
in rhymes and sonnets
calligraphed in blue and black
immortalizing the sorrow
on the sheets that shout in silence
through the words
that couldn’t help him
while
he was alive

Oh the words of the wise, the dead and alive,
Seem the only hope of peace
I divulge and devour their infinite desire,
Their passion, their love
Make my own, make my life,
Scurry away the demons in sight
My eyes, my ears, my senses
They are my Gods, my truth

Hide me away to a world of wisdom,
Where love and loss are but fleeting moments

Take me in hand, guide me to the immortal page