Poetry of the unstable

Poetry of the unstable Aug 2017

Pain is everywhere
It's all over this world
I see it in everyone
No one is spared

Its in the child
Whose innocence was taken

Its the grown man
Who can't function a day
Without the help of a substance

Its in the mom who is all alone
And who is simply trying
To make this broken house
Feel like a home.

Is there anything else?
All I see is pain.
Is there nothing but this vacancy,
That consumes my being?
Is this all there is?
Surely there is more than this.

I see the pain
In the teenager
Who draws lines on his skin
That wont just leave
But atleast this pain can be covered by his sleeve

I see it in the girl who gives herself away
To any man
Who she thinks she can make stay

I see it in the strong
Who make themselves keep moving on
For everyone else around them
But inside they just want to die.

Surely there is more
I'm telling you there has to be more.
I close my eyes
And I start to cry
I open them and look up to the sky
I want to scream at God
"How could you let this happen?"
"Where are you now, when all I see and all I feel is the pain?"
But I don't say a word
Because I know this simple truth
If God does exist
And I bet my life he has too
I have no right to ask him no I have no right to demand an answer
I can not understand who he is
Or how big his plans are
So I close my eyes
And I thank him for the life I have

And I say to the child, and to the grown man, to the mom, and the teen, to the girl, and to the strong,
I tell them thy can keep moving on.
I have no positive answers and I'm sorry if that's not enough for you. But I believe its the truth and as for me I would rather embrace the painful truth than live in a comfortable lie.

Not very well written , sorry! Im not even sure I'm saying what I'm thinking in the right way just thoughts I have and figured I'd put them down.

Poetry of the unstable Aug 2017

The big dance

The lights
The noise
The music
The sounds
The voices
The dance
The life
It brings
Both vibrancy
And anxiety
Both life
And death
Most everyone
Loves it all
But not I
I love
And I hate
There is dark
And light
It's all
A paradox
Just as
Am I.

There is this dance thing every Saturday night in the summer, and my friends and I have started going a lot, it's a lot of fun but it also makes me anxious.

#dance #dancing #life #death #anxiety #anxious

Poetry of the unstable Aug 2017

Hide and Seek

Life is a game
Of hide and go seek
Its not yet time
For you to peek

You must go hide
And try not to be found
You can not wish to
Have ever died

That is one piece to hide
You can not long after blood
Hide that too

But most of all
Remember this
You must simply hide all of you
Paint up a fake and trick them all
And watch as they fall
For the fake
And now you feel safe
But look at them laughing
And all having a blast
Guilt overwhelms
So you crawl out of hiding
And want to help seek
But the weather outside is hot
And you notice they are not
What they at first appear
For there paint is running
And soon so are you
But you leave your fake laughing
Just in case
It was only sweat you saw
But you have to be careful
Because this is hide and seek
And you never know
Exactly how much to show
So again you hide
And curl around yourself
Because while the one who looks like you
Is out having fun
And is enjoying the company
Of many different people
You have never been more alone.

Random thoughts on life and relationships

Poetry of the unstable Jul 2017

A desperate cry

I want to cry
My eyes are holding back the tears
As I read all the emotions
As I see all this hurt
I know so many people who hurt
And who ache
And this kills me
This world is so broken
And no one is untouchable
It kills me
Watching as innocent people
Get used
By other people
Who themselves used to be innocent
Until the day wen they were used
And its an endless cycle
Of hurt people
Turning around and hurting more
This endless cycle of pain
So many people screaming that they just want to be loved
And every piece of me
Is dying to scream at them
How much I love them all
But I've done that to some
And im afraid iv only caused more pain
So I'm stuck unable to help
Only able to pray
But the brokenness
Is eating away
And each day
They get more broken
And closer to ending it all
And I know that pain
All too well
That's why I want to help
Because I wouldn't wish my misery on anyone
And I want so desperately to protect them all
But I'm so weak
And there's really nothing I can do
So I sit back and watch this pain and watch this misery
And all I can do is cry out to God to hear these people
And to see the pain
And I feel so helpless
But I know that alone
Is better than anything else I could do

So many people are hurting. And I don't think most people see the pain of everyone around them. They seem to think no one has it as bad as they do. But just because the pain is hidden doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

#pain #despair #depression #death

Poetry of the unstable Jul 2017

The hand

A hand extends
Covered in blood
The hand of a killer
One who has cut
Many people up
And murdered the innocent
And taken lives
Who is so insane
The person who this hand belongs too
Laughs at the very sight
Of the silver dancing with Ruby's
Who laughs as the silver seems to scream out for its companion
Who longs to do the dance
And at first glance
You may not understand
But soon enough young child
You will see the terrors in the night this hand brings
You will scream with fright
You will attempt to hide
But there is no hiding
There is no escaping
There is no way out
Because my truest love
Surely you must see it
Surely you must understand
Everything iv warned you about
Everything iv said
About this hand
And who it's attached
Im just trying to help
Attempting to warn you
You need to stay away
This is not game to play
Flee away you must
Please don't cry
When I tell you who
This awful hand surely belongs too
Its not really shocking
You cant possibly be surprised
But truly I tell you
That this hand is mine
And there are Ruby's my heart longs for
And silver my hand longs to play with
So forgive me
And I hope this dosnt hurt
But you see its just so much fun.

An old poem I recently found I forgot I wrote it, but I kinda like it so there

Poetry of the unstable Jul 2017

Ravings of the clinically insane

These thoughts
And endless memories
These demons
That scream out my name
These monsters
That always bring me pain
I have no heart
I lost it long ago
On an endless journey
Down the inescapable road
I saw many wonders
And wanderers too
I saw many creatures
All through this journey
Some seemed pleasant
But were wreaked with pain
Others who were dark
But the most glorious light hiding beneath
I've seen many monsters
Both big and small
And I have almost seen them all
Granted there a few who remain unknown
But these to only a few are shown
But that's another story altogether
Mine is just beginning so sit back and listen
This is my journey
Are u watching closer?
No of course not
Its an unimportant story and event
Its a meaningless matter
Just caught up in my brain
Right along next to the novacane
What a wonderful thing
Numbness is
What a wonderful desire
Lack of feeling brings
Its such a wonderful feeling
To feel nothing at all
If only your brain was just too small
You wouldn't understand what I'm trying to say
You wouldn't understand
Because of this exact way
Im saying all my words just right
So that only a few will be taken in the fright
But don't truly fear
Oh no my dear
For it is all over soon
Look I'll make you smile again
Have a balloon
There there now
That's much better
I told you dear
Tears only make you wetter
So do not cry
Don't let it out
Never seek a solitary corner whilst to pout
Put on the strong face
Make sure you don't brake
Crying is for the weak
Don't forget to be meek
But don't let it out
Don't let it show
Hiding is the name of this game
Oh deary, don't you want to play?
Its so much fun
Come come!
I'll teach you the right words to say
Oh **!
You got it right
Its not the words you say
For there are none
You will never see the sun
It's my face you shall see
For together we are we
It is you and I
And now dear one time to die
Yes yes
Let's see those Ruby's run
Let's watch the red come forth to the sun
Oh my! This is such pleasure
This is such a desire
Don't you truly mind these words
Or this nonesense verse
Merely a lunatics craving
And a dead sailors raving
Do tell me if you understand my misbehaving.

Poetry of the unstable Jul 2017

All that I need

Failing,
It's all that I do,
Failure,
It's all that I am,
Until I open my eyes,
And look to you.
I cling to the truth,
It's all that I know,
All these doubts,
And the pain starts to grow.
But I close my eyes,
And I know,
This one thing I trust,
When there is nothing else,
I cling to the cross,
Jesus died for me.
My failures have been washed away,
All this guilt,
It doesn't have to stay.
I know who I am,
And where I belong.
And that's all I need,
To start to move on.

I would be dead if it wasn't for Christ, so how can I not look to him? I always mess up and think I can do things on my own. But I can't I so desperately need him

#saved #saviour