they all want to think they have qualities that will entice me
dancing beggars throwing text into the air and hoping it falls in pleasing shapes
watching my snapstory and hoping i notice
trickling through my internet stream
laughing at my antics as if they know me
begging superiority by the green sword next to their name
thinking that my biggest problem is clickbait that they can just time out and make disappear.

i entertain you but it's not for you
it's for me.

Overview:

-Birthday: ∞

-Studied everything at The School of...

-Lives in ∞

-Gender: Seriously?

-Religious Views: Tolerant Chaos

-Political Views: Ambivalently Apathetic Anarchy

Family And Relationships:
-Relationship: It's complicated

-Family Members: Everyone Ever

Details About You:

I am. We are. It is. Impossible to forget but hard to remember. Remember that time you found some money on the ground? That was me. Remember that time you got so sick you thought you puked your actual brains out? Sorry about that.

I love you go to hell.

To be honest I'm still surprised I'm alive after all the crazy **** I've done to myself over the years from nuclear ****** bombs to snorting the ground up bones of warring people and all that jazz. Oh yeah, not to mention those times I've caught asteroids with my face.

Favorite Quotes:**

Wind, Farts, *******, Laughter.

Life Events:

****...where do I start?

I might've been an only
child but I was never the
favourite. you trailed behind us at every
social event, pulling on my
hair and stepping on the backs of my
shoes. the bottoms of them were so
worn out from years of me trying to run
away that I could feel every footstep in my
lungs. at christmas none of my presents could be
wrapped, because we'd learned the first
year that it wasn't a good
idea. she made me spend hours tearing it off in a straight
line, using a ruler as
guidance. I was too young to read the
numbers on it. this year, I bought her a
necklace. I knew I had to give her something even though I wanted to
take. she never mentioned it on our Christmas cards, but it was
there, it was
there in the spacing of our
names and the negative space between our warm
bodies; we weren't allowed to
touch. she hates you so
much that she could never bear
leaving you. vacuums became my
lullaby and my father quickly grew
used to never getting kissed on the
mouth. I hate you. you were a thorn
stuck into the centrepiece of our perfect
family, and my psychotherapist says you're the
reason I still let myself
bleed.

There are a few things that I don't care about in life and some of them are:
-why you're a vegetarian or vegan
-who my boyfriend is following on social media
-if people hold the door for me

I do care whether or not people respect your dietary preferences
If people think their girlfriends can't know who they're following on social media
And if people slam the door in my face

Since I only write love poems,
This ones about the way he said he could see me for the rest of his life and wouldn't consider it a bad one.
I don't remember what I ever say back, exactly
All I know is that it's 1:30am, I've got an 8am tomorrow and I can't sleep because I'm too busy enjoying my daydreams thinking of all the things I could enjoy with you

if we could churn things out in seconds,
i'd make you a tape of my top 3 songs I'd want to ******* to.
.It'd start with something fast-paced,
a song that would be standing up
a quickie but a "we can't help it, we have to right now" quickie,
not sloppy, just fast-paced.
loud and intense and back against the wall, hair grabbing, *** grabbing,
guitars blaring in the background, the beat matching my heart racing as you bend me over
.but the next song would be slower. It'd be the nights we didn't plan on it,
the ones where we already said goodnight and we tried to go to sleep
but I accidentally rolled closer into you and couldn't resist one kiss on the cheek
which made me want to kiss you more and then we're accidentally ******* and ending up having to say goodnight again.
Probably an acoustic, lyrics something about love.
.The next song would be classic. Something you're not allowed to really hate because it's by an artist you're kind of forced to respect? And you like it, really. It'd probably be one of my favorites by an artist I know you love. It'd play in the background and we wouldn't really notice it exactly until later down the road when we're on our own somewhere hearing it and wondering why the song reminds us of each other. It would be a song that just ended up playing one time while on shuffle in the parked car, us pretending nothing else was really present except that back seat.

I already have a lot of shuffled car songs that remind me of us in moments,
parked in the rain
from when kissing never got farther than kissing.

as I am growing as a lover, I am appreciating music in a new sense,
associating it with feeling from my own auto-biography of emotion,
associating those feelings with images from collect moments
and I am so glad some songs will always bring me back to right now
in this collection of moments and images and feelings
in these picture-perfect memories I have of rain on the windshield right before you kissed me while you played the Smiths
or while last summers shuffle of pop punk played while we fogged up the windows in a baseball field
and I am glad that once my mind can no longer form or remember the picture-perfect moments,
and I won't be able to put together the scenery,
I will at least be reminded of the feeling through a song.